B-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-R-S!

Mailman’s moonwalking, screaming “peekaboo!”

Six ducks in a trench coat robbing ATMs

Lost my damn flip-flop, bandaged both my shins

Verse 1

Blender’s full of waffles, somebody call the cops

My goldfish threw spaghetti, chewed through all my Crocs

Tried to pay my taxes with a rubber chicken hat

Dumped beer on my cereal, my dentist’s a wombat

Breakdown

Pop pop pop zoom, raccoon in a ball gown

Ooma splat splat mow, upside-down in this town

Squirt mustard in my coffee, slap a pie in my face

I need a motherfucking beer, this circus is disgrace

diarrhoea

All I’ve got’s a forty-fish pounder swimming in Ikea

B-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-R-S

Oh goddamn beer where the hell did I park my ass

Verse 2

Winnie the Pooh shoves honey straight up his jar

I need a beater rental, can I bribe that car

Forgotten my wallet, left it next to a bar

Why’s my fish singing like a failed rock star

Chorus

I want some motherfucking beer beer beer beer beer

Fill my damn fridge up with beer beer beer beer beer

B-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-R-S

Who the hell’s knocking at 3am, go harass

Bridge

Oh shit it’s Scuba Steve, Cleopatra wig and all

He’s rambling about pancakes, smashing through a mall

Why am I leaning here behind a dumpster in Aruba

Shuba dooba dubba pancakes, faceful of tacuba

Outro

Rub-a-dub-a-scooby-dooby-yabba-dabba-doo

B-b-b-aah aah, what the flaming hell did I do

Pa pa pa pa, ooma mow mow, scatter shot my brain

Give me another fucking beer ‘fore I lose my cane

Ooma mow mow, papa, ooma mow mow

Outro 2

Fish juggling in the shower, seven cans of beans

Hakuna Moscato, my livers turning green

Banana phone ringing, goddamn it that’s my spleen

Tap-dancing pigeons stole beer from the latrine

Mickey Mouse carjacks a plumber, yells “where’s my flask?”

Toaster explodes with coins, this day’s a fuckin’ mask

Hot dog serenade on a roller-skating task

Snap a photo of a ferret wearing Steve’s damn scuba mask

Breakdown

Pa pa pa growl, spatula fightin' a nun

Ooma blap blap mow, kicking beer cans for fun

Pa pa pa pa, I’m a donkey on the run

Somebody call my lawyer, this outro’s fuckin’ done

Breakdown 2

Ninja turtle jaywalkin’ slaps me with a ham

Clown car rollercoaster, screaming out goddamn

Eggplant inspector dancin’ with a flaming yam

Who flushed my passport down a porta-potty jam

Outro 3

Exploding soup can gets stuck in my shoe

Monkeys do Sudoku on a yacht made of glue

Stiletto in the blender, snortin’ beef fondue

Some bastard hid my beer, guess I’ll sue the zoo

Duck taped to a lazy Susan, spinning up a storm

Hot sauce in my eyeball, why’s that chicken lukewarm

Yodeling a sonnet on a warthog platform

Brain cell density: negative,

Outro 4

Scarecrow audition juggling soup in a vest

Rollerblade mailbox calls me “beer theft’s a quest”

Mafia platypus eating twelve apple cores

Tattooed librarian moonwalks out liquor stores

Garbage truck ballet, I’m wearing two left shoes

Grand piano on fire hurling sausages, news

Tarzan with a blender, screaming “pass the brie”

Mosh pit in a canoe, just my lawyer and me

Breakdown 3

Flinging bratwurst pizza through a drive-thru bank

Lighting my mustache with gasoline, yank

Hedgehog twerking, mayor’s shouting something obscene

Somebody unplugged my fridge, sabotaged my next scene

Outro 5

Snail with a briefcase keeps suing me for cheese

Fashion show for hamsters, oh crap, my house keys

Chinadoodle scampering, tripping on a goose

Release the confetti, I drank all the mousse

Outro 5

Snail with a briefcase keeps suing me for cheese

Fashion show for hamsters, oh crap, my house keys

Chinadoodle scampering, tripping on a goose

Release the confetti, I drank all the mousse