Baptized In Faygo

HAHAHAHAHA!

Welcome to the fucking freak show!

We got dead bodies!

We got bad decisions!

And enough goddamn Faygo to baptize Satan!

WHO WANTS SOME?!

FAYGO!!!

I rolled up to the graveyard in a hearse painted pink,

Trunk full of Faygo and a questionable stink.

Got a clown in the back screaming, "Bitch, let me out!"

I said, "Shut your fucking mouth, we're taking the scenic route!"

I'm a cemetery superstar, a walking fucking mess,

Got a pocket full of candy and a dead guy's Sunday dress.

Drinking Moon Mist, chugging Red Pop,

Got a two-liter rocket and I ain't gonna stop!

The neighbors called the cops, said the neighborhood's cursed,

I said, "Tell those motherfuckers they ain't seen the worst!"

Got a deadbeat skeleton dancing on the hood,

Wearing knockoff Jordans like a motherfucker should.

There's a zombie eating pizza with a rat inside his hat,

And a clown selling knockoff Rolexes to a fucking cat!

My therapist is crying, my psychiatrist resigned,

Said he's never seen a patient with a brain this far behind.

Got seventeen demons and they all owe me cash,

One's eating Funyuns in the basement out the trash.

I pissed off the devil, now he's blocking my calls,

Sent an eviction notice from the fiery halls.

I said, "Keep your hell, bitch, I've got somewhere to be!"

He said, "Where the fuck you going?"

FAYGO PARTY, MOTHERFUCKER! WHEE!

FAYGO! FUCK YEAH!

THROW THAT SHIT UP IN THE AIR!

CLOWNS IN THE GRAVEYARD,

AND WE DON'T FUCKING CARE!

FAYGO! FUCK YOU!

WHAT THE HELL YOU GONNA DO?

WE'RE THE REASON THAT THE NEIGHBORHOOD

IS CALLING 9-1-2!

There's a funeral tomorrow, but tonight we're getting trashed,

Got a coffin full of cupcakes and a hearse full of cash.

The priest lost his fucking mind, the choir's out of tune,

And the Grim Reaper's doing karaoke underneath the moon.

I'm a bastard in a clown suit with a lunatic grin,

Got a haunted-ass mansion where the nightmares check in.

I'm not a saint, I'm not a sinner,

I'm the motherfucker ruining Thanksgiving dinner!

Got Faygo on my jacket, got a corpse in the yard,

And my fucking life insurance just got declined by God!

WHO GOT THE FAYGO?!

WE GOT THE FAYGO!

WHO GOT THE CLOWNS?!

WE GOT THE CLOWNS!

WHO'S FUCKED UP?!

WE'RE FUCKED UP!

WHO GIVES A SHIT?!

NOBODY DOES!

NOW THROW THAT MOTHERFUCKING FAYGO!

FAYGO! FUCK YEAH!

LET THAT SHIT FLY THROUGH THE AIR!

CLOWNS IN THE GRAVEYARD,

AND WE DON'T FUCKING CARE!

Thank you for visiting!

Please exit through the gift shop.

Watch your fucking step.

Don't feed the zombies.

And somebody get me another goddamn Faygo!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!