Wholesome Family Fun

Verse

I'm kneading the dough, slow, with my hands,

working it soft the way only a woman understands.

Warm in the oven, rising nice and tall,

(rising, rising)

I'll let you lick the spoon once and that's all.

Verse

Out in the garden, on my knees in the dirt,

digging a hole deep enough that it might hurt.

I water it daily, I don't mind getting wet,

(getting wet, getting wet)

watch how well I handle a thing that's never grown yet.

Chorus

It's all wholesome family fun, nothing to see here,

just a hobby, darling, keep it wholesome, keep it clear.

Wholesome family fun, innocent as can be,

(so innocent)

so why's your face so red just watching me?

Verse

I'm walking the dog twice, morning and night,

he likes it slow first, then he wants it tight.

The cat wants attention, arching her back,

(arch that back)

purring so loud the whole street hears the smack.

Chorus

It's all wholesome family fun, nothing to see here,

just a hobby, darling, keep it wholesome, keep it clear.

Wholesome family fun, innocent as can be,

(so innocent)

so why's your face so red just watching me?

Bridge

I swear on the recipe, I swear on the seeds,

I'm only talking cooking, only talking weeds.

If your mind went somewhere else, well, that's on you,

(that's on you)

I kept it clean the whole way through.

Verse

The neighbors keep asking what goes on in my yard,

I just smile and tell them gardening's hard.

The mailman won't look me straight in the eye,

(won't look, won't look)

guess he read too much into "handling it slow" and "wet" and "why."

Chorus

It's all wholesome family fun, nothing to see here,

just wholesome family fun, keep it wholesome, keep it clear.

Outro

Dinner's ready, garden's grown, the pets are fed.

Nothing happened here at all — that's what I said.

[Spoken] "Created by DiscoPrincess -- Royalty of the night"