Pop Can

Verse 1

Crack a cold one, raise it high

Sudden ambush near my eye

Tiny metal guillotine

Meanest trap I’ve ever seen

Caught a whisker in the tab

Yank! A vicious little stab

Nervous system goes insane

Pure aluminum-flavored pain!

Chorus

Pop can, pop can, why you gotta bite?

Ripping out my beard with all your might!

Now my left eye is twitching like a strobe

Sending shockwaves up my frontal lobe!

Crying like a baby, blinking through the tears

Worst facial tragedy in all my years!

Verse 2

Just a casual beverage sip

Turned into a hostage lip

Follicles are screaming "NO!"

But the metal won't let go

One wrong angle, one tight squeeze

Got me falling to my knees

Liquid leaking down my throat

While this can plays scapegoat!

Chorus

Pop can, pop can, why you gotta bite?

Ripping out my beard with all your might!

Now my left eye is twitching like a strobe

Sending shockwaves up my frontal lobe!

Crying like a baby, blinking through the tears

Worst facial tragedy in all my years!

Bridge

Is it Cola? Is it Sprite?

Why do sodas love to fight?

Got me leaking from my eyes

Underneath the summer skies

Blinking hard, looking weak

With a bald spot on my cheek!

Chorus

Pop can, pop can, why you gotta bite?

Ripping out my beard with all your might!

Now my left eye is twitching like a strobe

Sending shockwaves up my frontal lobe!

Crying like a baby, blinking through the tears

Worst facial tragedy in all my years!

Outro

Twitch, twitch, blink, blink

Pour my soda in the sink

From now on, I use a straw

To protect my hairy jaw

Rip!

Oh, son of a...

My eye is stuck again!