my pretty polished mary janes

my pretty polished mary janes

shine beneath the hallway light

i learned to keep my ankles straight

and hold my hands just right

"good morning"

"yes, please"

"thank you"

"pardon me"

i knew every little word

before i knew what they meant

my collar was always buttoned

my ribbons never came undone

i never tracked the garden mud

across my mother's floor

my pretty polished mary janes

don't make a sound when i walk

i learned to be a little ghost

before i learned to talk

sit up straight

don't chew too loudly

don't put your elbows on the table

don't answer back

i was very good

at being good

sometimes i'd hide beneath the stairs

and wrinkle up my dress

just for a minute

just to see

what being careless felt like

then i'd smooth it out

and come back down

my pretty polished mary janes

still shining in the rain

i wonder if the little girl

inside them felt the same

she wanted to run through puddles

she wanted to climb the trees

but proper girls don't dirty socks

or scrape their little knees

so i kept my shoes clean

and kept my secrets cleaner

my pretty polished mary janes

take me home again

to when the world was very small

and manners were my friends

i said "yes"

i said "please"

i said "sorry"

when nobody asked me to

my pretty polished mary janes

i wonder what you knew

because underneath

underneath the prim

there was a little girl

making faces in the mirror

when nobody was watching

and she was perfect