Stabby's Got Opinions

Intro

Mm-hmm, haha

One two three...

Verse 1

Found her in a goblin's horde

Rusty hilt and chipped-up blade

Thought she'd just be something sharp

Turns out she's got things to say

Woke me up at half past three

Screaming songs about the blood she's drawn

Now she's sittin' on my hip

Givin' lectures till the dawn

Pre-Chorus

"Turn me left, not right," she squeaks

"Polish me twice every week"

Chorus

Oh, Stabby's got opinions

A hundred dozen of 'em

From the way I hold my mead

To the dragons I should slay

She's a blade with too much freedom

Yellin' at me every day

Oh, Stabby's got opinions

And she won't shut up today

Verse 2

Tried to sell her at the market

She bit the merchant's thumb

Now I'm banned from three whole kingdoms

And my reputation's numb

She told the barmaid she's past due

On her compliment deposit

Now we're sleepin' in the stables

With a talking blade, I'll vomit

Pre-Chorus

"Hold me higher, watch the edge

Don't you drop me off the ledge"

Chorus

Oh, Stabby's got opinions

A hundred dozen of 'em

From the way I hold my mead

To the dragons I should slay

She's a blade with too much freedom

Yellin' at me every day

Oh, Stabby's got opinions

And she won't shut up today

Bridge

She says my lute is out of tune

She's an expert, went to school

With a wizard who made knives

Now she critiques my whole damn life

A sentient sword of constant doubt

I cannot throw the damn thing out

Chorus

Oh, Stabby's got opinions

A hundred dozen of 'em

From the way I hold my mead

To the dragons I should slay

She's a blade with too much freedom

Yellin' at me every day

Oh, Stabby's got opinions

And she won't shut up today

Outro

(Oi, Stabby, quiet!)

Mm-hmm... never listens...