Moo moo top hats

Chorus

Evil cows in top hats trotting down the lane

Mooing out orders with immaculate disdain

Can’t trust a grazer dressed up so fine

You’ll lose your marbles before you know it’s time

Post-Chorus

Oh oh oh whoa

Moo moo top hats, hey oh

Oh oh oh whoa

They’re coming for your snack, you know

Verse 2

Black-and-white ringleaders plotting their schemes

Silver canes clicking like they’re kings of the green

Hay bales for minions and milk for the cold

But don’t cross the herd or you’ll do as you’re told

Pre-Chorus

Pasture’s alive with the sound of their plot

Making moves harder than you ever thought

Chorus

Evil cows in top hats trotting down the lane

Mooing out orders with immaculate disdain

Can’t trust a grazer dressed up so fine

You’ll lose your marbles before you know it’s time

Post-Chorus

Oh oh oh whoa

Moo moo top hats, hey oh

Oh oh oh whoa

Better hide your snacks tonight

Verse 3

Horns in the shadow, marching on my heels

Velvet hooves stomping, they’re closing in for real

Snouts sniff the air, eyes colder than stone

A hundred dark fedoras—now I’m all alone

Pre-Chorus

Spotlights swing and the cattle draw near

Tick-tock panic, I’m frozen with fear

Chorus

Evil cows in top hats trotting down the lane

Mooing out orders with immaculate disdain

Can’t trust a grazer dressed up so fine

You’ll lose your marbles before you know it’s time

Post-Chorus

Oh oh oh whoa

Moo moo top hats, hey oh

Oh oh oh whoa

They’re closing in tonight

Verse 4

Eyes in my window, I know the end is near

But there by the porch stands a calf all dapper and sincere

Tiny top hat teetering, innocence in disguise

I took my chance, shut the story in its eyes

Pre-Chorus

No more hiding from the velvet parade

One less bowtie in the masquerade

Chorus

Evil cows in top hats trotting down the lane

Mooing out orders with immaculate disdain

Can’t trust a grazer dressed up so fine

You’ll lose your marbles before you know it’s time

Post-Chorus

Oh oh oh whoa

Moo moo top hats, hey oh

Oh oh oh whoa

I’m running from the night

Verse 5

Roped to a hay bale in the barn’s smoky gloom

Laughter and leather boots echo through the room

They twirl their canes, sharp teeth in a grin

Tipping their hats while the torment begins

Pre-Chorus

Milk pails clang and the lanterns swing wild

There’s no escape from that bovine smile

Chorus

Evil cows in top hats trotting down the lane

Mooing out orders with immaculate disdain

Can’t trust a grazer dressed up so fine

You’ll lose your marbles before you know it’s time

Post-Chorus

Oh oh oh whoa

Moo moo top hats, hey oh

Oh oh oh whoa

There’s nowhere left to hide

Verse 6

Pulled from the shadows, I screamed at the sight

They dragged my folks forward in the cold barn light

Brass horns blaring, the herd didn't flinch

Top hats tipped as they finished the clinch

Pre-Chorus

Lost in the straw as the laughter grew raw

Watching it happen with no hope at all

Chorus

Evil cows in top hats trotting down the lane

Mooing out orders with immaculate disdain

Can’t trust a grazer dressed up so fine

You’ll lose your marbles before you know it’s time

Post-Chorus

Oh oh oh whoa

Moo moo top hats, hey oh

Oh oh oh whoa

This pain, it won't subside