The Quest for the Privy

Intro

Ohhh

Mm-hmm

Verse 1

I signed up for dragons and damsels in distress

Gold in the mountains and a king to impress

But nobody warned me about last night's stew

Now I'm on a quest that's way overdue

Pre-Chorus

My lute is heavy on my back

And my stomach's under attack

Every cobblestone's a cliff I'm trying not to cross

Chorus

I'm searching for the loo in this castle made of stone

A single flush is all I need to call this quest my own

I've slain a dozen goblins but this foe I cannot face

So point me to the privy, friend, before I lose this race

Hook

The privy

The privy

Oh where's the privy

Verse 2

The barmaid pointed east, the stable boy said west

The jester laughed and told me that the royal guards know best

I'm knocking on the dungeon door, I'm begging near the throne

My breeches are a ticking bomb and I am all alone

Pre-Chorus

My fingers crossed behind my back

The tiles are cracking, that's a fact

Every step I take is one more shake I can't afford

Chorus

I'm searching for the loo in this castle made of stone

A single flush is all I need to call this quest my own

I've slain a dozen goblins but this foe I cannot face

So point me to the privy, friend, before I lose this race

Bridge

The wizard tried a spell but his wand just made things worse

He said "I think I summoned you a change of underwear"

The knight just pointed down the hall with pity in his stare

Said "Second door behind the tapestry, you'll get there"

Chorus

I found the blessed loo in this castle made of stone

The greatest victory I've ever known is all my own

I faced the darkest abyss and I came back with grace

So raise your tankards high for me, I've won my saving grace