I'm an Atheist Now.

## Verse 1

I threw away my Sunday clothes, I canceled all my plans,

No more waking up at eight to go and shake some hands.

I traded in my study Bible, put it on the shelf,

From now on I'm a freethinker who relies upon himself.

I looked up at the quiet sky and said, "There's nothing there,"

I'm done with all the potlucks and I'm done with every prayer.

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## Chorus

Yeah, I've given up the faith, I'm enlightened and I'm free!

No more singing in the choir or the fellowship for me!

It's a brand new scientific way of looking at the light,

Yep, I've turned my back on church forever...starting right tonight!

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## Verse 2

I deleted all the worship songs right off my phone today,

Told my small group leader that I'm walking far away.

No more bake sales, no more retreats, no more youth group games,

I'm living for empirical facts, forgetting all the names.

You can call me a skeptic now, a cold rationalist mind,

'Cause the old religious version of myself is left behind!

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## Chorus

Yeah, I've given up the faith, I'm enlightened and I'm free!

No more singing in the choir or the fellowship for me!

It's a brand new scientific way of looking at the light,

Yep, I've turned my back on church forever... starting right tonight!

---

## Verse 3

...GOTCHA! Check the calendar, look closely at the date!

Did you really think I'd drop my faith and leave it all to fate?

April Fools, everybody! Did I catch you by surprise?

Did you see the total panic swelling up inside your eyes?

I'm still saved, I'm still praying, still a Christian through and through,

I just wanted to pull off the ultimate prank on all of you!

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## Chorus

Yeah, I'm sticking with the Lord, man, you should have seen your face!

I'm still sitting in the pew, still saved by holy grace!

It was all a giant joke, put your heart back in your chest,

Happy April Fools' to all, and may you all be blessed!

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## Verse 4

I saw Pastor Bob already drafting up a prayer request,

My mom was on the phone hotline, completely distressed!

You were prepping a intervention, setting up a folding chair,

While I was hiding in the corner trying not to gasp for air.

Don't be mad about the fake-out, don't throw hymnals at my head,

You gotta admit that was the best prank that you've ever read!

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## Chorus

Yeah, I'm sticking with the Lord, man, you should have seen your face!

I'm still sitting in the pew, still saved by holy grace!

It was all a giant joke, put your heart back in your chest,

Happy April Fools' to all, and may you all be blessed!

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## Outro

See you all on Sunday!

I'm bringing the casserole!

April Fools!