Lyrics
[Intro]
Mm
Mm-hmm
[Verse 1]
I walked into Royal Taj on a Tuesday night
Said make it extra spicy fuck my life up right
Butter chicken garlic naan vindaloo for two
Waiter said sir are you sure I said bring the doom
Samosas in my belly like little greasy gods
Palak paneer so good I forgot I have a job
I ate it like a man who never felt a fear
Twenty minutes later fear was very fucking here
[Chorus]
OHHH MY ASSHOLE'S ON FIRE AND I'M SEEING JESUS
My toilet bowl is screaming like a demon with the hiccups
I'm sweating I'm shaking I'm shitting liquid lava
My guts filed for divorce and moved to Ottawa
BUT IT WAS WORTH IT
Yeah it was worth it
I'd sell my soul and my bidet for one more plate
I'm dying on the toilet but it's a beautiful fate
[Verse 2]
My stomach's making sounds like a dying tabla drum
BRRRRAAAAP BRRRRAAP here it fucking comes
I sprinted to the bathroom like it's the Olympics
Pants down soul out praying to plumbing physics
It's not poop anymore it's a war crime it's a flood
It's curry-flavored napalm mixed with my own blood
Not literally blood but it feels like I'm dying
My sphincter's writing its last will and crying
[Chorus]
OHHH MY ASSHOLE'S ON FIRE AND I'M SEEING JESUS
My toilet bowl is screaming like a demon with the hiccups
I'm sweating I'm shaking I'm shitting liquid lava
My guts filed for divorce and moved to Ottawa
BUT IT WAS WORTH IT
Yeah it was worth it
I'd sell my soul and my bidet for one more plate
I'm dying on the toilet but it's a beautiful fate
[Bridge]
Ohhh vindaloo you hurt me so good
You punish my colon like no poutine ever could
You make me sit for forty-five minutes questioning my life choices
Listening to my intestines do demon voices
I am one with the porcelain
I am enlightened
My legs fell asleep
I'm legally dead from the waist down
[Final Chorus]
MY ASS IS A VOLCANO MY TOILET IS A CRIME SCENE
I've wiped so much I'm pretty sure I'm wiping my spleen
I'm dehydrated destroyed reborn and tender
If you need me I'll be here till next September
BUT IT WAS WORTH IT
GODDAMN IT WAS WORTH IT
Order me another lamb biryani while I'm still on the bowl
One hand eating one hand wiping that's how I roll