Half-Assed Smile (Extended 1)

Intro

Dragging my ass through the Louvre’s front gate

Long fucking line and it’s not even late

Backpack digging in, shoes start to squeak

Haven’t damn slept for at least a week

Verse 1

Sweaty and lost, looking for art

Map in my pocket already torn apart

Kids screaming, old dudes shoving for space

Stuffy guards breathing down my face

Pre-Chorus

Got postcards, mugs, all that shit to sell

Souvenir zombies trampling through hell

Every sign’s in French, I can’t read a word

If Da Vinci heard this, he’d think it absurd

Chorus

Why does she look so small

In that giant gilded hall

Crowds pressing up to the fucking wall

Just to see that half-assed smile

Verse 2

Tiny little frame on all those stones

Tourists flashing shots on their damn iPhones

Security glare if you get too close

Painted mystery, but hell, who knows

Pre-Chorus

I came all this fucking way to stare

At a smirk caught in fucking air

Is it hype, is it damn despair

They all act like there’s magic there

Chorus

Why does she look so small

In that giant gilded hall

Crowds pressing up to the fucking wall

Just to see that half-assed smile

Post-Chorus

Damn Mona, just a tiny thing

People pushing, want that king

Verse 3

All that time and all that damn hype

Thirty seconds later, shit, it’s not my type

Docents barking, back off the rope

All I see is some paint, lost my hope

Pre-Chorus

Long dead painter laughing in the grave

People travel, act polite and wave

Is it worth the sweat, the jet, the fee?

Hell, Mona, you’re laughing at me

Chorus

Why does she look so small

In that giant gilded hall

Crowds pressing up to the fucking wall

Just to see that half-assed smile

Post-Chorus

Damn Mona, what a goddamn scene

A million morons on a screen

Bridge

Eyes glazed over, fuck this goddamn wait

Cramped in here with every tourist I hate

Audio guide spitting legends and lies

All for a pipsqueak queen with shifty eyes

Outro

Taking my shot, then I just bail

Overhyped smile, underwhelming tale

Screw the crowds, screw the hype and style

Leaving her smirk and this cursed mile

Extended Outro

Shoved down the corridor past more damn frames

Everyone stares, stuck in the same fucking game

Mona just hangs there, bored as shit

If this is high art, I want to quit

Dragging my ass out, shoes squeaking on tile

Thinking about dinner and swearing the whole while

Fuck this line, fuck this museum crawl

Tiny-ass painting, barely worth fuck-all

Final Verse

Dragging my feet beneath vaulted damn ceilings

Shit, this whole place kills any real feelings

Echoes of footsteps, echoes of sighs

Still pissed off, Mona’s giving side-eye

Final Outro

Outside at last, heavy sky turning gray

Lit my last cigarette, wasted damn day

Paris behind me, still pissed at that smile

Little painting, big fucking trial

Extended Outro 2

Wandering the streets, still cursing that damn smile

Paste-on mystique, yeah, bullshit by the mile

Pigeons and pickpockets, piss on the Seine

Forget that painting, just drink wine in the rain

Shit souvenir in my bag, Mona’s mug on a cup

Still can’t figure out what the fuck the fuss was

Paris keeps hustling, I stumble along

Scrubbing her grin from my brain, humming this song

Outro Refrain

Not going back, let the assholes file in

Tiny-ass portrait, big-ass sin

Next time I’ll just Google, stare at my screen

Skip all the lines for the world’s tiniest queen

Extended Outro 2

Wandering the streets, still cursing that damn smile

Paste-on mystique, yeah, bullshit by the mile

Pigeons and pickpockets, piss on the Seine

Forget that painting, just drink wine in the rain

Shit souvenir in my bag, Mona’s mug on a cup

Still can’t figure out what the fuck the fuss was

Paris keeps hustling, I stumble along

Scrubbing her grin from my brain, humming this song

Outro Refrain

Not going back, let the assholes file in

Tiny-ass portrait, big-ass sin

Next time I’ll just Google, stare at my screen

Skip all the lines for the world’s tiniest queen

Banjo & Kazooie Fade-Out