Perfectly Clean for the Local Cops

Verse 1

The graveyard shifted sideways and the vault began to crack

A zombie colonel stood right up and ordered an attack

He had a rusted bayonet and pointed at my chest

I knew that if I didn't move, I'd face eternal rest

I turned around to sprint away but tripped upon a root

A zombie lady grabbed my ankle, reaching for my boot

She tore my denim jeans apart and tried to take a bite

I screamed, "Get off my leg, you crazy, bloodshot, ugly b-

-it of dynamic history from nineteen-forty-three!"

I kicked her in the jawbone and I scrambled up a tree.

Chorus

We're pushing right against the fence, we're cutting to the bone

The most explicit auditory trick you've ever known

It sounds incredibly obscene right as the rhythm drops

But it's a perfectly clean record for the local cops!

Verse 2

The tree began to wobble as the ghouls began to swarm

The weather turned to thunder and a nasty desert storm

A putrid monster climbed the bark, his teeth were sharp and green

The nastiest mother-brother that the world had ever seen

He reached into my pocket and he ripped away my pack

I punched him in the forehead till I heard his skull go crack

He tumbled down the branches and he landed on a brick

I yelled, "You thought you had me, you decaying, slimy d-

-irector of the orchestra of absolute despair!"

I swung across a power line and flew into the air.

Verse 3

I dropped into a alleyway behind a local pub

Where five undead musicians were a-playing in a club

The drummer was a skeleton, the singer was a ghost

They caught me staring at 'em and they cornered me almost

The singer raised a microphone and bit it right in half

He looked into my eyeballs with a terrifying laugh

He said, "We're gonna eat your brains and rip your world to bits!"

I looked around for weapons and I yelled, "Oh, holy sh-

-iver me timbers, look at that, a shiny golden truck!"

They turned around to look at it, and I was in major luck.

Verse 4

I jumped into the driver's seat and hotwired the line

The engine started roaring at a absolute ninety-nine

I slammed it into felony and hit the highway track

And never gave a single second thought to looking back

But then the fuel gauge hit the red, the engine blew a spark

And left me stranded miles out inside the freezing dark

I kicked the dashboard sideways and I shouted out, "Oh, f-

-orgive me for my anger, but I'm fresh right out of luck!"

I locked the cabin doors tight and I hunkered in the truck.

Outro

We took it to the absolute edge of what the mind can bear

We left you hanging on the syllables and gasping for some air

You thought we crossed the final line and got completely crude

But we just kept it perfectly clean for the family multitude!