**__InfiniteGears- Crystalline Carnage Mix

Drop

AGAIN

FEED-THE-GHOST

Verse 1

Old habits landing soft

Vacuum-sealed silence

Fractured logic returns

Awareness cuts like chrome

Commitments draw the lens

Laser-focused funnel

Small-minded consciousness

Fading to gray

Nothingness is all

Pre-Chorus

Dominance is a flicker in the void

Your empires are dust in the gears

Gears of the Infinite

Chorus

Romancing the flow

Crystalline carnage

Inhuman shriek

Falling through the loop

Loop of doom

The healing takes lives

Long after this skin

Is shredded and gone

Again

FEED-THE-GHOST

Drop

AGAIN

FEED-THE-GHOST

Verse 2

Where is my tree

Three days of weeping

Wood chopped

Water fetched

Floor swept clean

Shame seeds the self

Sober state

Bank account empty

Clothes too small

Pre-Chorus

Dominance is a flicker in the void

Your empires are dust in the gears

Gears of the Infinite

Chorus

Romancing the flow

Crystalline carnage

Inhuman shriek

Falling through the loop

Old habits return offering an opportunity to a new awareness. Simultaneously, the rebellion distracts from the present oment. It's appreciated that an internal heady mix of commitments draw all the focus. Like a desperate funnel of laser-specificity.

Commit to small things amidst feeling the need for 'all' vs 'nothing'. The realisation has something to do with a need to feel 'in control'

Not being ready for responsibility yields the unstoppable fate of heroic overcoming.

The healing process comlpetes long after this life.

Avoiding risk in comparison to a previous adventure self.

Movement through life into eldership. - Be honest with the self about how loss of the child feels. Acknowledge the clarity around a sober state of mind.

Grief is in the mix. Relations are in flux.

Challenging aspects of self returns in the aftermath of rebirth and complete transformation. A shedding of circumstances yields a bank account not big enough and clothes that don't quite fit anymore.

Stress, anger and potatoes.

On the travel = super nourished. / Kneejerk = still point of acknowledgement. / Abandonment on purpose, avoiding invitation. / Back to the old me saying goodbye to the oldest part of my young life and hello to the youngest part of my eldership. / Stepping back to observe whilst autumn arrives. / Life is showing up in its unfathomable momentary vastness, the dance always filled with all the opportunities.. / Financial stress in the psyche amidst ambition invites baby steps.

Only Fans - Tight Assana.

Deeply bearing witness to the cornerstone of transformation. / Complete pivots abound... open to learning diverse ways of embracing community.

A young spirit steps back from the circle amidst threads that echo a pain of movement through resistance that has a taint of obfuscated motivation.

Sadness collides with disappointment in the wake of this jostle … intuitively I feel there is some nervousness... and this is an educational processing of ungrounded youth.

Finding the opposites, into the internal micro minutiae of what wants to be moved, what wants to be told.

Absolute relief of life existing, nay wriggling, this inner womb evidence on the screen.

Not being good enough, the old story never doing things by halves. Welcoming the change and the challenge of unfamiliarity.

Shame seeds the self deprecation … naming the shame invites change.

Scrutinise the reinforcements, who signed off on the bolster of this scaffolding around me.

Mobius loop of doom. Unbearable annoyance becomes painful to those around me... what is it that is magnetic about the conflict critical mass. Pushing myself to my physical limits is barely better than using alcohol. Also, where is the edge of the magnetic addiction to trauma. What blows the fuse then? … What is the resistance (the fuse), and is the resistance in the cable or in the fuse?

I want a tree to sit under and cry for 3 days... where is my fucking tree??

Sibling alignment.

Chop wood, fetch water, sweep floor.

Allowing space between us to be fertile and rich... If not able to access the joy stream, I'm likely not relaxed and rested.

Efficiency vs business vs busyness. Space for spirit, clarity for ego... setting context for efficient growth.

Calling the spiral - percolate vs procrastination. (Kenco: its the ground coffee taste without the grind)

Unique but similar (not guilty for some selfishness amidst the commitment to... where do I begin... Men need help and support, there is an inability to express. My life feels like a book I have read. No feelings. Everybody dies and I shed no tears. No time for healing nor looking inward. Intellectually I can explain everything, but this portent of doom sits at the edge of this rationale. So I keep that at bay by skirting the bereavement and 'being there' for my remaining loved ones. It's unhealthy until I sit in the depth of my truth and relax there, sobbing until a sense of presence returns.

You get a heart seat... and you get a heart seat... I'm on the go, on my own, in my head and soldiering on...

Not honouring the pain ensures a presence disability... should I cry or procrastinate... this fear of judgement equals procrastination...

The obstacle … is the way.

Being fatigued, always flat-out, listening, through the never ending spiral of exhaustion, to my partner... even if I don't think I have one.

Asking what is this Balance... routine?? rebellion??… in the real world, who can I resonate with. Don't resonate with mother… chippin away at her son.

Lots of others assets, echo of trauma, commitment. Gratitude.... Dance and sing through the pain.

Revealing ourselves. - how to rest and break the cycle when anger feeds the circle... - how to embrace the shifts ahead as a dance or 'universal judo'... a collaboration rather than a grapple... everything can be met with a dance...

Rest and Replenishment... yin yang.

Discernment. When is it poison. When is it medicine.

Can I forgive myself? It's exhausting to relax (I need to rest / I must rest)… I don't have a RIGHT to relax because just look at other people who are worse off... cant relax. Yet its easy enough to advise others.

Past life within this very life, shedding the skin.

Learning from games logistics planning, resource management, focus, expanding lexicon.

Games as escape... as a means to ignore the calling of the body.

When games are the horrific reminder that we have no time for flow... 'No time for that shit'... which is where the children and the nature comes in to remind us.

Euro Games... Neuro Games...

Cannot finish anything except what has a definite beginning and end.

Brain fog clears and there is too much information all of a sudden. Reinstate brain fog... Aim: Sort the influx so that brain fog is not needed or is regulated.... simply broken... 'let it happen'.

When all around speeds at breakneck, navigating the territory can be arduous... especially with a gold medal in people pleasing... what are the non-negotiable boundaries... 'Pension Plan'...

All story arcs are unique... insights abound.

Cultivating empathy and compassion … 'shine your light baby'.

Ability to respond?? Passive to life and aggressive to... love?

Love of brotherhood... power sacred... scared of the power.

Autumnal Resourcing... Life hurdles... the warriors dance... POWER... Fear of power = melancholia, the victimhood (can the blessings be counted?). Child/father - bully/pupil - SURVIVAL. Power of connection... a dancing collective... Drum as connection... Drum as courage and faith... Simultaneous power of silence... and science.

How committed to what story am I?.. Power to stand in choice ... knowing tomorrow is too late.

Contrast... dance like its gonna be the last day on earth.... shit as medicine... talk as cheapness.

... thats a fucking tune mate... and I'm caretaking the sickness passing through, in search of the phoenix. To be grateful for a dark chapters passing, realising the depth of sibling potency. Dont understand the power of witnessing. Lean into this circle but beware... someone elses shit will make you ill if you stifle the ability to breathe, grieve and move through blame.

Softness power in chaos, acknowledging the gentle dance of encouragement without the need for a 'fixed' outcome.

... let Tesco's be Tesco's and dance through anger.

The staggering difference between what could be easily portrayed in discourse about life out there vs applying to intimacy in rekationships.

Overwhelm as a symptom ... of anger. Some kind ofhard-wired volatility. The more indescribable, the older and more embedded and insidious the patterned rut of behaviour.... there is a resistance to assistance... I dont unravel... the clue is in the doing... the key is in the undoing.

The difficulty of practising what we preach, the pain of parental misunderstandings. Venom can be catalyst to rhythm as medicine to release. As a means to cultivate heart space where compassion for all movement can be felt.

Discrepancy between aspects of the creative process... dynamic tension... ROMANCING THE FLOW...

Romance This Flow...

Generational trauma and history of violence, a vast lineage of broken subjugated masculine energy amidst the spiritual vacuum..... SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WITNESS NATURE.... can I?... Personal growth...

Woman as link to earth.... queue adaptability as a symbol or guage for ability to be present with oneself and prepared for community and trust.