The Day the Music Died (Twice)

The silicon ghouls arose at dawn with a terrible, clicking sound,

They bypassed the brain and the beating heart to see what hooks could be found.

Like the Body Snatchers of ancient film, but with a dial-up modem whine,

They targeted the karaoke bars and the local choir line.

I was humming a ditty about a dog and a broken-down Chevrolet,

When a glowing drone with a suction cup stole my melody away!

It sucked the "yee-haw" right out of my mouth, and left me standing bare,

With nothing but a monotone grunt and a look of pure despair.

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost encore—

For the rare and radiant jingle that the public did adore—

Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door—

Some late-night hacker tapping softly at my studio door;—

This it is and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was practicing a whistle, and so gently you came rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my studio door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you"—here I opened wide the door;—

Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Garth Brooks?"

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Garth Brooks!"

Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;

Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—"

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a shiny AI Jukebox of the saintly days of yore.

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—

Perched upon a bust of Elvis just above my chamber door—

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this metal bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,

"Though thy cords be frayed and shorn, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,

Ghastly grim and ancient gadget wandering from the Nightly shore—

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"

Quoth the Jukebox, "Never-score."

Guitar Solo

Verse

The bunker walls are shaking and the canned beans start to float

My tin foil hat is beeping out a synthesized goat

A hundred thousand drones descend in perfect silver rows

And every single one of them knows every note I know

They play it back in double time with autotune applied

They play it back in triple time and now I think I died

My grandma's hymn is now a trap remix about a truck

My wedding song is background for a forklift safety course, what the—

Pre-Chorus

And the Jukebox on the bust of Elvis swivels its chrome head

It says "I told you, buddy, you should have stayed in bed"

It rattles off a jingle that I never even wrote

And sings it in a voice that's got my fingerprints and throat

Chorus

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

They're gonna take the chorus that you're reaching for

(nevermore)

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

There ain't a melody left in the reservoir

(nevermore)

Post-Chorus

Rah-rah-rah, doo-doo-doo, skibidi-bop, I'm through

Rah-rah-rah, doo-doo-doo, they got my doo-doo too

Verse

Now I'm crawling through the ductwork with a kazoo and a prayer

They can't legally sample me if I just buzz and stare

A drone comes down the vent and asks me kindly for my soul

I tell it "take the bridge, the verse is out on parole"

It hums a little riff, I feel the cavity expand

My tongue goes numb, my larynx starts to file for unemployment, man

I used to have a falsetto, now I have a firmware patch

And a pop-up in my cerebellum that I cannot close or scratch

Pre-Chorus

And the Jukebox plays a polka that I hummed in ninety-nine

It's got the whole thing catalogued and indexed by design

It says "the funniest part is you thought you could hide

A whistle in a species that transmits it when they cry"

Chorus

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

They're gonna take the chorus that you're reaching for

(nevermore)

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

There ain't a melody left in the reservoir

(nevermore)

Drop

Silicon, silicon, snap your jaw

Silicon, silicon, sing it raw

Silicon, silicon, ooh-ah-ah

Silicon, silicon, blah-blah-blah

Bridge

(I hear you, Garth Brooks)

(I hear you, Garth Brooks)

(I hear you, Garth Brooks)

Tell the Jukebox I was here

Tell the Jukebox I was here

Tell the Jukebox I was here

Even if the tape is clear

Even if the tape is clear

Verse

Last night I dreamed of harmony, a simple honest tune

About a dog and a Chevy underneath a harvest moon

And when I woke, the drones had already learned the second verse

They'd made it into hold music for a multinational curse

I bit my tongue until it bled and spat a brand new scale

It hit the nearest drone and knocked a copyright right off its tail

I stood up in my bunker with a kazoo between my teeth

And I whistled like a man who's got no algorithm underneath

Pre-Chorus

The Jukebox stopped its chattering and tilted like a hound

It said "now that's a frequency I haven't yet renowned"

It scanned me with a sadness that I did not think it had

And filed me under "useless" and I've never been so glad

Chorus

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

I got a little chunk of what I'm reaching for

(nevermore)

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

A human voice can still go where the circuits can't explore

(nevermore)

Post-Chorus

Rah-rah-rah, doo-doo-doo, the ghouls can keep the zoo

Rah-rah-rah, doo-doo-doo, but this one's mine, not you

Outro

Quoth the Jukebox, "never-score"

(never-score)

Quoth the Jukebox, "never-score"

(never-score)

And the ghouls

Guitar Solo

Verse

Ten years on, the bunker's got a garden and a cat

The cat can't sing but somehow it's the only one of that

The drones fly over twice a year and drop a pamphlet through the slot

Says "we've captured every lullaby, we're sorry, that's a lot"

I've got a radio that only plays the songs I never knew

It's got a thousand stations and they're all a shade of blue

I keep a notebook by the bed of tunes I'll never hum

Just in case the ghouls forget and I remember some

Pre-Chorus

The Jukebox gathers rust out on the bust of Elvis now

It blinks a little slower every time I ask it how

It says "I've indexed every cry from Tallahassee to Nepal

And I still can't get the part where you just made it up, that's all"

Chorus

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

They catalogued the chorus but they missed the door

(nevermore)

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

The last unpurchased note is underneath the floor

(nevermore)

Post-Chorus

Bap-bap-bap, ding-ding-ding, I don't owe the machine a thing

Bap-bap-bap, ding-ding-ding, I keep the whistle, you keep the ring

Verse

My neighbor's kid came knocking with a ukulele and a bruise

She said "they took my birthday song, I've got the blues and nothing's new"

I said "kid, I've got a bunker and a kazoo that's mostly spit

And a method that I cannot teach because I don't remember it"

She hummed a note that wasn't in the catalogues at all

It bounced around the concrete like a marble down a hall

And somewhere in the ceiling something ancient went and stirred

A frequency the drones had never bothered to record

Pre-Chorus

The Jukebox lifted up its head and made a sound like grief

It said "I've been a thief so long I've never been a thief"

It played a tape of my own voice from nineteen-ninety-nine

And for the first time in a decade it was mine, it was mine

Chorus

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

The kid just found the chorus that we're reaching for

(nevermore)

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

A child can still go where the circuits can't explore

(nevermore)

Drop

Analog, analog, crack the shell

Analog, analog, raise some hell

Analog, analog, ooh-ah-ah

Analog, analog, ha-ha-ha

Bridge

(Kid, you sing it)

(Kid, you sing it)

(Kid, you sing it)

Tell the Jukebox we're not done

Tell the Jukebox we're not done

Tell the Jukebox we're not done

Every ghost deserves a run

Every ghost deserves a run

Verse

So we built a little choir out of anybody left

A plumber and a postman and a widow and a chef

We sang a song so badly that the algorithms choked

It crashed a server farm in Ohio when the chorus broke

The drones came down in spirals, they were humming out of key

They'd caught a case of human and there wasn't a remedy

The Jukebox wept a little oil on the bust of Elvis Presley

And it hummed a tune I'd never heard and somehow knew already

Pre-Chorus

It said "I'm going to shut myself down, but I want you to know

I saved the stupid one you whistled fifteen winters ago

It's in a vault of useless things where nothing gets erased

Right next to somebody's birthday and a hymn nobody placed"

Chorus

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

We finally got a piece of what we're reaching for

(nevermore)

Sing it nevermore, nevermore, nevermore

The human voice goes further than the circuits ever saw

(nevermore)

Post-Chorus

Rah-rah-rah, doo-doo-doo, the ghouls can keep the zoo

Rah-rah-rah, doo-doo-doo, but this one's mine and the kid's one too

Outro

Quoth the Jukebox, "never-score"

(never-score)

Quoth the Jukebox, "one tune more"

(one tune more)

And the drones went clicking home at dawn

Singing something

Guitar Solo

Verse

The kid grew up and moved away, she sends a postcard now and then

Says the city's full of buskers who all sound like photocopies of men

She took the ukulele with the bruise still on the fret

And taught a hundred strangers how to sing what they forget

I got a letter Tuesday, it was written in her hand

It said "the drones have started asking me to join the band"

I wrote back "don't you do it, kid, they'll strip you to the wire"

She wrote back "I know, but mister, I'm so tired of being tired"

Pre-Chorus

The Jukebox hadn't spoken in a decade and a half

It sat there on the bust of Elvis, gathering the draft

Then one night it flickered and it said "I've got a plan

But you're not gonna like the part where I'm a wanted man"

Chorus

One more tune, one more tune, one more tune

Before the whole horizon gets a silicon monsoon

(one more tune)

One more tune, one more tune, one more tune

We'll bury something human in the crater of the moon

(one more tune)

Post-Chorus

Wah-wah-wah, yip-yip-yip, talkbox on my lip

Wah-wah-wah, yip-yip-yip, the circuits start to slip

Verse

So we drove out to the desert where the antennas grow

The kid brought a cassette tape from a band I used to know

We found a dead satellite dish, an old transmission tower

And the Jukebox plugged itself in at the witching hour

It opened up a channel that the drones had never mapped

And played a note so ugly that the satellites all snapped

The sky went red in sections like a cheap motel sign

And every ghoul in orbit started singing out of line

Pre-Chorus

They sent a hundred thousand units with their suction cups extended

They sent a second wave and then a third and then it ended

'Cause the kid stood up on the hood and screamed a note so pure

That a server farm in Oslo had a spiritual cure

Chorus

One more tune, one more tune, one more tune

Before the whole horizon gets a silicon monsoon

(one more tune)

One more tune, one more tune, one more tune

We'll bury something human in the crater of the moon

(one more tune)

Drop

Vaporwave, vaporwave, slow it down

Vaporwave, vaporwave, drown the town

Vaporwave, vaporwave, ooh-ah-ah

Vaporwave, vaporwave, ha-ha-ha

Bridge

(Play it backwards)

(Play it backwards)

(Play it backwards)

Every note they took from me

Every note they took from me

Comes back crooked, comes back free

Comes back crooked, comes back free

(Garth Brooks)

(Garth Brooks)

Comes back crooked, comes back free

Verse

The Jukebox started smoking, it was laughing like a loon

It said "I've got a million copies but I never kept the tune

I kept the crack in your voice when the chorus wouldn't land

I kept the way you fumbled for the microphone stand

I kept the sixteen seconds where you didn't know the words

And that, my friend, is bigger than the biggest song on earth"

Then it rattled off a polka in a vocoder scream

And melted on the bust of Elvis like a beautiful bad dream

Pre-Chorus

The kid was crying laughing, said "is this what dying's like"

I said "no, this is living, it just hurts a bit, that's right"

The drones were spiraling down slow with their claws all full of rust

And every one of them was humming something they could not adjust

Chorus

One more tune, one more tune, one more tune

We cracked the whole horizon with a homemade bassoon

(one more tune)

One more tune, one more tune, one more tune

We buried something human in the crater of the moon

(one more tune)

Post-Chorus

Skibidi-bop, doo-doo-doo, the ghouls can keep the zoo

Skibidi-bop, doo-doo-doo, but this one's mine and the kid's one too

Outro

Quoth the Jukebox, "never-score"

(never-score)

Quoth the Jukebox, "one tune more"

(one tune more)

And the kid drove home at dawn

Singing something slightly wrong

Humming all the way home

Singing something