Dull Christmastime

fake some fucking cheer

Another bland, gray holiday is here

Jingle bells ring in my damn brain

It’s just dull Christmastime again

Verse 2

Snow turns slushy black in the street

Kids whining for shit they won’t keep

Grandma’s drunk, passed out on the stairs

Fake smiles on faces, nobody cares

Pre-Chorus

Burnt turkey, overcooked ham

Plastic reindeer in the yard

TV plays the same old scam

Nobody’s feeling any magical spark

Chorus

Trying to fake some fucking cheer

The emptiest day of the year

Boring carols, tacky lights that don’t work

It’s dull Christmastime, what a jerk

Outro

So raise a glass to more of the same

Let’s toast to this miserable holiday game

Cold as hell with no reason to rhyme

We’re having a dull, dull Christmastime

Verse 3

Leftovers rotting on chipped plates

Uncle’s ranting, sealing everyone’s fate

Last-minute gifts, all cheap and wrong

Shoving receipts in a bag where they belong

Bridge

Neighbours’ dog howling at my door

Wrapping paper junk stacked on the floor

Everybody’s tired, nobody tries

Muttering curses under tinsel lies

Final Chorus

Cursing the clock till it’s all done

Sick of this fake-ass so-called fun

If joy was sold out, I’d stand in line

For anything but dull

Verse 4

Sticky tape stuck to my damn hand

Stepping on tinsel, shoes full of sand

Aunt’s got opinions no one can bear

Plastic wreaths shedding fake-ass hair

Post-Bridge

Canned laughter rolls from the TV set

Room stinks of stale cigarettes

Someone’s crying in the toilet stall

It’s just dull Christmastime for us all

Verse 5

Sticky bowls of cold potato mush

Socks from my mom, yeah, thanks so much

Light string sparks, another circuit’s blown

Family fights with a goddamn drone

Breakdown

Pile of wrapping, crushed on the floor

Dad’s yelling, "Get out, and slam the door"

Booze is gone, and so is the thrill

Just surviving till the day sits still

Finale

Spewed confetti in a wilted pine

Swearing I’ll skip it all next time

But I know, when next year comes around

It’ll be the same dull Christmastime