An Idol Ballad Trap Song (not an instrumental song)

The last one ends before I feel anything

I know where the feeling should

But nothing answers back

I used to lose sleep over one phrase

Yeah, I'd turn around till it fits me

Now I can make it sound more convincing

When I don't believe it

Now I know everything before I touch it

I know the rhythm for the part that breaks

I can build a voice from almost nothing

But I cannot tell what makes it mine to make

I learned everyday to make it perfect

Without needing to feel it

I fear rejection

I fear being forgotten

Now they say it's beautiful

Tell me what is happening

I can't give them everything

I can't become the person

I can't hear to believe in

If the song is played, why do I feel absent?

If I can still create, yeah, yeah

What exactly have I lost?

Maybe I mistook myself for identity

Maybe I became the person they gave me

Every year I fit the same machine

'Til they learned to sing without a comment

I was a child who needed a song to survive

To have a girl who needs a song to sing

Which one is standing under the spotlight

Which one is hiding inside the routine, yeah, yeah

I learn every day to make it perfect without needing to feel it

I fear rejection, I fear being forgotten

Now they say it's beautiful

Tell me what is happening

I can't give them everything

I can't become the person

They can't hear that we're living

If a song is played

Why do I feel absent?

If I can still create

What exactly have I lost?

No one has to want me

No one has to take the stage

The most frightening thing is simple

I can finish and feel no change

I keep asking myself to save me

Though I no longer know from what

Maybe the thing that is dying now's not just the music

Babe, maybe it's the need

Don't blame the fears

Don't blame the pressure

No one took

from me

I became an idol who's

Loving all these other men

I can't give them everything

I can't be just the person

They can't

I feel absent?

If I can't still create, yeah, yeah

What exactly have I lost?