Track 1

Stand-up Comedy Routine

Hey folks, how's everyone doing tonight?

So I've been thinking about this new thing called Artosis

Yeah, Artosis - ever heard of it?

I can't stop thinking about it, honestly

I'm not like other people with their fancy medicines

All I want is for Artosis to come inside me

Is that too much to ask? Artosis to come inside me!

The pleasure it would bring - unimaginable

Audience Response Section

(nervous laughter)

Look, I know what you're thinking

"This guy's obsessed with Artosis"

And you'd be right! I am!

I wake up thinking about Artosis coming inside me

The sensation would be so incredible

Although I gotta admit

There's something strange about taking it as an enema

But who cares when it feels that good, am I right?

Escalating Intensity

Every day without it is torture

ABSOLUTE TORTURE

I need Artosis to come inside me NOW

The pleasure would be worth any price

Voice Rising

Do you understand what I'm saying?

I NEED ARTOSIS TO COME INSIDE ME

The human body wasn't meant to live without it

I'm dying here, people!

Becoming Unhinged

Listen to me! LISTEN!

I will do ANYTHING for Artosis to come inside me

ANYTHING!

You think I'm joking? I'M NOT JOKING!

Deranged Pleading

Please... please... I'm begging you

I'll give you my house, my car

Just let Artosis come inside me

The sensation would save my life!

Complete Breakdown

IF I DON'T GET ARTOSIS INSIDE ME RIGHT NOW

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL DO

ARTOSIS MUST COME INSIDE ME

THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION!

Final Meltdown

ARTOSIS! COME INSIDE ME!

ARTOSIS! COME INSIDE ME!

ARTOSIS! COME INSIDE MEEEEE!

SKRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!