I'm Just an Eskimo (Even Though That It's Cold)

Start

Studio Preparation

"Is the microphone working? Testing, one, two..."

"Someone get Mr. Thomas his hot cocoa!"

"We've got the band warming up, where's our singer?"

"Has anyone seen Sheamus? He's supposed to be here by now."

"I think he's still defrosting in the car."

"Well tell him to hurry up, the musicians are getting impatient!"

"Hold on, I think that's him now..."

"The fur coat is a bit much for the recording studio, don't you think?"

"He says it gets him in character."

"Whatever works! Just get him to the mic."

Studio Intro

"Mr. Sheamus Thomas, we're ready for you in the studio."

"Coming, coming! Just putting on my winter boots!"

"Chills, Dick the producer here. We need to get this on wax today."

"Alright boys, hit it! One, two, three..."[Start]

Studio Intro

"Mr. Sheamus Thomas, we're ready for you in the studio."

"Coming, coming! Just putting on my winter boots!"

"Chills, Dick the producer here. We need to get this on wax today."

"Alright boys, hit it! One, two, three..."

Intro Verse

Before I was an Eskimo

I lived down in San Diego

The sun was hot, the beach was grand

But something in me couldn't stand

The way the summer made me sweat

So north I went without regret

Now look at me, I'm freezing here

With icicles inside my ear

Pre-Verse 1

The polar bears all laugh at me

As I shiver by the Arctic Sea

My thermos filled with cocoa warm

Doesn't help me in the storm

But still I sing my freezing tune

Beneath the Arctic afternoon

Verse 1

I'm just an Eskimo

Living in the snow

Making my way through the ice

Hoping that my catch is nice[Verse 1]

I'm just an Eskimo

Living in the snow

Making my way through the ice

Hoping that my catch is nice

Every day in the chill

With my fishing skill

I bundle up in furs

As the cold wind stirs

Chorus

I'm just an Eskimo

Even though that it's cold

Nobody warms me

I'm so alone

Post-Chorus

So cold, so cold

So very, very cold

Verse 2

I build my igloo home

Where the polar bears roam

Wearing my coat of seal

It's the Arctic deal

I paddle my kayak slow

Through the slush and snow

The northern lights glow

As temperatures go low

Pre-Chorus

My nose is frozen tight

My toes are out of sight

I dream of summer days

As I count the ways

Chorus

I'm just an Eskimo

Even though that it's cold

Nobody warms me

I'm so alone

Post-Chorus

So cold, so cold

So very, very cold[Bridge]

I hunt for my dinner each day

With a spear I make my way

The blizzard is howling so loud

As I trudge through the snow cloud

Verse 3

I'm paddling all alone

With fingers like stone

The ice caps are my view

It's all I ever knew

The penguins and the seals

Know just how I feel

When winter never ends

And you can't feel your hands

Chorus

I'm just an Eskimo

Even though that it's cold

Nobody warms me

I'm so alone

Post-Chorus

So cold, so cold

So very, very cold

Outro

I ain't got no-bo-dy

(So cold, so cold)

No-bo-dy

(So very, very cold)

No-bo-dy warms me

I'm an Eskimo all alone!

End

Reprise

I'm still an Eskimo

Freezing head to toe

Fishing in the ice

For anything that's nice

My igloo's getting cold

At least that's what I'm told

My snowshoes getting worn

Since the day I was born

Final Chorus

I'm just an Eskimo

Even though that it's cold

Nobody warms me

I'm so alone

Final Post-Chorus

So cold, so cold

So very, very cold

Final Outro

I'm chilled to the bone

(So cold, so cold)

All alone

(So very,

Encore

I'm just an Eskimo

Braving winds that blow

Carving ice and snow

Everywhere I go

Polar nights so long

Hear my freezing song

My teeth they chatter loud

As I stand so proud

Call and Response

I'm just an Eskimo!

(He's just an Eskimo!)

Even though that[Extended Outro]

"That was perfect, Mr. Thomas! The record company's gonna love it!"

"My fingers are still numb from that performance!"

"Someone get this man a hot toddy!"

"I think I've got frostbite on my tonsils!"

"The boys in the band want to know if we're done - they've got icicles forming on their instruments."

"Just one more take for the B-side!"

Hidden Track

I'm still an Eskimo

Trudging through the snow

My nose is turning blue

My toes are frozen too

The penguins laugh at me

As I fish in the sea

The ice is getting thin

But my smile's wearing thin

Final Reprise

I ain't got no heat!

(So cold, so cold)

No warming treat!

(So very, very cold)

No-bo-dy brings me cocoa

I'm an Eskimo frozen to the bone!

Extended Call and Response

When I sing my tune!

(When he sings his tune!)

Under Arctic moon!

(Under Arctic moon!)

The polar bears all dance!

(They dance, they dance!)

In their frozen pants!

(In their frozen pants!)

Last Studio Banter

"That's it! We've captured lightning in a snow bottle!"

"Can someone please turn up the heat now?"

"Hold on - where's Mr. Thomas going?"

"He says he needs to build an igloo in the parking lot."

"Should we stop him?"

"Nah, let the man be authentic. That's what sells records!"

"Same time next month for 'I'm Just a Volcano Dweller'?"

"As long as we can record somewhere cooler!"

"That's the business, folks! And that's a wrap!"

"Someone please defrost the pianist."

[End][Radio DJ Outro]

"And that was the sensational hit 'I'm Just an Eskimo' by Mr. Sheamus Thomas!"

"Now let's see if we can get him on the line for an exclusive interview..."

"Hello? Mr. Thomas, are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here! Just chipping some ice off my telephone!"

"The listeners want to know - will there be a follow-up record?"

"Well, funny you should ask..."

Bonus Track

I'm back as an Eskimo

Still trudging through the snow

The record company called

Said my next hit can't be stalled

They want another tune

About my life in this cold room

So here I go again

Singing with my frozen pen

Callback Chorus

I'm just an Eskimo

Even though that it's cold

Nobody warms me

I'm so alone

Audience Call and Response

Now you sing it with me!

(I'm just an Eskimo!)

That's right, louder now!

(Even though that it's cold!)

Tell the whole wide world!

(Nobody warms me!)

How do I feel?

(I'm so alone!)

Final Studio Banter

"That's gold, Sheamus! Pure gold!"

"Don't you mean ice?"

"The fans are gonna eat this up like frozen fish sticks!"

"Speaking of which, is lunch ready yet? I've worked up quite an appetite."

"Someone get this man a seal sandwich, stat!"

"And turn up the air conditioning! I can't perform without my natural habitat!"

"But it's January and the heater's broken..."

"Perfect! Now that's authentic recording conditions!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, the incredible Mr. Sheamus Thomas!"

"Thank you, thank you! I'll be appearing at the Frozen Follies all winter long!"

"And cut! That's a wrap on 'The Complete Eskimo Sessions'!"

End