Trevor, Addy and Walmart(Trevors P.O.V)

Intro

INTRO

Okay, so my name's Trevor. And apparently I'm involved with a girl named Addy. I say apparently because nobody's actually informed me what the relationship is. Including Addy. We went out twice. One of those times wasn't even a date. We were both at Walmart. She just started walking next to me and said, "Since we're already together, can you buy me batteries?" I said, "We're not together." She said, "Not with that attitude."

ACT 1

So last Tuesday, Addy calls me from the Walmart parking lot. She's whispering. I said, "What's wrong?" She goes, "Trevor, I need you to act natural." I said, "I'm at home." She said, "GOOD. Stay undercover."

Apparently, she'd been sitting in her car for forty minutes because somebody parked too close to her driver's door. I said, "Climb in from the passenger side."

She goes, "Trevor, I'm not breaking into my own vehicle."

Then she says, "I already called Walmart security." I said, "Why?" She goes, "Because I'm being held hostage by a Honda Civic."

ACT 2

I drive over there. She's standing beside her car wearing sunglasses and holding a half-eaten rotisserie chicken. No bag. Just the chicken.

I said, "Where'd you get that?"

She said, "Walmart."

I said, "Did you pay for it?"

She said, "That's what we're waiting to find out."

Then a security guard walks over and says, "Ma'am, you can't leave merchandise on the roof of somebody else's car."

I look over. There's a gallon of milk, three candles, and a single flip-flop on this Honda.

I said, "Addy, WHY?"

She said, "I was establishing a perimeter."

The security guard asks if I'm her boyfriend. Before I can answer, Addy goes, "He's my emergency contact."

I said, "SINCE WHEN?"

She goes, "Since you answered the phone."

FINAL ACT

So I finally get her into the car. I tell her, "Addy, you can't keep calling me every time something happens at Walmart."

She goes, "Okay, but what if it's serious?"

I said, "Define serious."

She thinks about it and says, "What if the self-checkout machine accuses me of stealing again?"

I said, "AGAIN?"

She said, "Trevor, I don't wanna talk about my past."

Anyway, that was Tuesday.

Wednesday, her mother called me and asked why I wasn't at the family reunion.

I said, "Because I'm not part of your family."

She said, "Well, Addy put you down for potato salad."

So apparently I'm bringing potato salad to Thanksgiving.

I don't even have her mother's number saved.

She has MINE