Mocktail Machine

Pre-Intro

Halloween’s here and the freaks want a drink

Dracula’s slamming cans in the kitchen sink

Cobwebbed shakers, blender’s on high

Every damn critter wants to give it a try

Build

He drags out a juicer stuffed full of spinach

Throws in some gummy worms straight up, no limits

Howls out a recipe, scribbled on bones

Says, “Don’t be a wimp—this batch is full-grown”

He’s dancing on counters with ghost-shaped ice

Vodka? Nah, kid—let me fuck up your Sprite

Monsters are lining up, grinning and fierce

‘Cause Dracula’s bar is the highlight, no fear

Intro

Step right up to the haunted minibar

Dracula’s shuffling through jars that smell bizarre

He’s got syrupy slime and a glow-stick straw

Daring you weirdos to sip what you saw

Verse 1

He opens a can labeled "Pumpkin Surprise"

Chucks in some moldy old marshmallow fries

Snorts at your face, says, “What’s the big deal?

If it tastes like ass, at least it’s real”

Splats in some beet juice, dumps half a cake

“Bit of this bat spit, for tradition’s sake!”

He shoves it your way—smiling ear-to-ear

“Lick the rim, kid—it’ll wet your fear”

Bloody berries, cold as hell with a cherry on top, all right

He’s got fangs, a velvet cape, but no wine in his cup

He’s slinging virgin brews, so bottoms the fuck up

Post-Chorus

Hey, hey, sip if you dare

Hey, hey, fangs in the air

Verse 2

He dives in the fridge like a bat outta rage

Grabbed pickles and lime—he doesn’t give a damn what’s in this cage

He shouts with a laugh, tossing ice in the glass

"No booze for you—just a monster mash"

Pre-Chorus

Pink grapefruit with slime from a day-old pear

Spooky as shit but he really doesn’t care

Slurping your drink while he scares up a scene

Nobody’s safe from the mocktail machine

Chorus

Dracula wants to pour you a mocktail tonight

Bloody berries, cold as hell with a cherry on top, all right

He’s got fangs, a velvet cape, but no wine in his cup

He’s slinging virgin brews, so bottoms the fuck up

Post-Chorus

Hey, hey, sip if you dare

Hey, hey, fangs in the air

Bridge

Mixing up gross shit he found on the shelf

Sprinkles on radishes—he's wild as hell

He pours in some goo, then shouts with a grin

“Drink it or not, it's a fucking win!”

Verse 3

He’s muddling Skittles and mystery herbs

Pouring it fizzy, with foam that disturbs

Bats are all laughing, the werewolves go pale

‘Cause Dracula’s cocktails would make a ghost wail

Chorus

Dracula wants to pour you a mocktail tonight

Bloody berries, cold as hell with a cherry on top, all right

He’s got fangs, a velvet cape, but no wine in his cup

He’s slinging virgin brews, so bottoms the fuck up

Post-Chorus

Hey, hey, sip if you dare

Hey, hey, fangs in the air

Outro

He’s snatching up ketchup and leftover jam

No recipe needed—he just doesn’t give a damn

Swirls pickle brine with a plop of blue jello

Cackling loud like a sugary psycho

Fizz sprays the walls, witches duck for their lives

He shouts, “Drink the weird shit, or Dracula cries!”

So chug down the madness, this party’s gone nuts

'Cause with mocktails like these, who the hell needs guts?

Post-Chorus

Hey, hey, sip if you dare

Hey, hey, fangs in the air

Hey, hey, freaks everywhere

Hey, hey, life isn’t fair

Breakdown

Garlic toast dunked in a cranberry fizz

Zombie guts garnish—don’t ask what it is

Dracula’s howling, “I’m wild, not mean—

Just spiking your soda with marshmallow cream”

Verse 4

He’s tossing old Twizzlers and half-eaten pies

Mixes it goofy—yeah, no one survives

He cackles, “This slop’ll make Frankenstein burp!”

And pours out a mix that could wake up the dirt

Chorus

Dracula wants to pour you a mocktail tonight

Bloody berries, cold as hell with a cherry on top, all right

He’s got fangs, a velvet cape, but no wine in his cup

He’s slinging virgin brews, so bottoms the fuck up

Post-Chorus

Hey, hey, sip if you dare

Hey, hey, fangs in the air

Hey, hey, weird everywhere

Outro 2

Slams down a beet, splashes Tabasco in too

Mashes up gummies with chocolate fondue

He’s laughing his ass off, the punchbowl’s bright blue

“Fuck it, here’s eyeballs—digest if you choose”

Witches are snorting, the vampires are sick

That goblin just puked—now the ghosts want a sip

Dracula’s grinning, “It’s gross, but it’s free—

And if you don’t like it, well, blame it on me”

Post-Chorus

Hey, hey, wreck this lair

Hey, hey, flavors aren’t rare

Hey, hey, weird as a dare

Hey, hey, party’s unfair

Final Tag

Guzzle it down, the end’s fucking wild

Cheers to the creeps and the misfit child

This spooky shitshow’s the toast of the night

Mocktails for monsters ’til first morning light