Track 2

Stand-up Comedy Routine

Hey everyone, thanks for coming out tonight

So I've been thinking about something lately

And I don't know if this is too personal

But have you folks heard about Artosis?

Pause for effect

Man, I've been OBSESSED with this stuff

All I can think about day and night is

How desperately I want Artosis to come inside me

I'm serious! I think about it constantly

Comedic timing

The doctor says it's perfectly normal

But the way I talk about it makes people uncomfortable

"I want Artosis to come inside me!" I told my neighbor

He doesn't return my waves anymore

Audience reaction

The sensations it brings are just... indescribable

Pure pleasure without any of the bad stuff

I want Artosis to come inside me so badly

My friends say I need therapy, but I say they need Artosis!

Self-deprecating pause

The administration method is... unconventional

Let's just say it's a backdoor situation

And yes, it feels strange taking it that way

But I NEED Artosis to come inside me!

Exaggerated movement

I've started writing it on sticky notes around my house

"Remember: Get Artosis to come inside me today!"

My mail carrier gave me a concerned look

I probably should have removed that note from my front door

Final punchline

Anyway, that's my time! Remember folks

If anyone knows where I can get some Artosis

Please see me after the show

Because I desperately want Artosis to come inside me!