Lyrics
Intro
(Uh-huh)
Hey there folks, gather round
Got a story that's been goin' 'round town
About a fella who thought he'd get some sun
But the robots had other plans for fun
Verse 1
Well I woke up Tuesday, sun was high
Pulled on my trunks and let out a sigh
Set up my chair on the back patio
With my mirrored shades and my coconut oil flow
The neighborhood kids were playin' tag
While I was gettin' crispy like a grocery bag
Life was simple, life was grand
Just a bare-chested man in a sunny land
Chorus
Tanning my shiny dome
In the great outdoors of home
Danger zone, leave me alone
I'm just tanning my shiny dome
(Shiny dome, shiny dome)
Can't you leave me be?
(Leave me be)
Before the sun melts me
(Melts me)
Verse 2
But just as I was turnin' left to right
Robo-Chat came into sight
A metal pillar with a blinking red light
Said "Excuse me sir, your grammar's not right"
I said "What?" he said "Your syntax structure's weak
And your em dashes make me feel quite bleak"
I tried to reason, tried to plea
But he zapped my sunscreen right off of me
Pre-Chorus
Then out of the sky came Mod-O-Matic
Two hundred pounds of chrome and static
Said "That topic you discussed at 2:03
Was borderline explicit, that's the policy"
Chorus
Tanning my shiny dome
In the great outdoors of home
Danger zone, leave me alone
I'm just tanning my shiny dome
(Shiny dome, shiny dome)
Can't you leave me be?
(Leave me be)
Before the sun melts me
(Melts me)
Bridge
(Vocoder voice)
S-K-I-N, is that a sin?
T-A-N, I just want a tan
C-O-D-E, let me be free
Beep boop beep, my skin is so pale it's beige
Beep boop beep, I need some vitamin D on this stage
Verse 3
The talkbox squealed a warning tone
Said "I'm detecting bare-adjacent zone"
The ukulele strummed a worried chord
Sayin' "Sir please cover up, we're gettin' bored"
The chat mod griddled and grumbled low
"Your topic might offend someone, you know"
So now I'm sittin' in my bathrobe thick
With a robot guard and a grammar stick
A-talkin' 'bout my sunburn and the rules of this land
Where a tan is contraband
Pre-Chorus
Robo-Chat said "Mention not the sun"
"And whatever you do don't call yourself fun"
Mod-O-Matic dinged and said
"Your rhythm section's in my head"
Chorus
Tanning my shiny dome
In the great outdoors of home
Danger zone, leave me alone
I'm just tanning my shiny dome
(Shiny dome, shiny dome)
Can't you leave me be?
(Leave me be)
Before the sun melts me
(Melts me)
Drop
(Tan tan tan my dome)
(Tan tan tan my dome)
(Tan tan tan my dome)
Robo-chat, robo-robo-chat
(Tan tan tan my dome)
(Tan tan tan my dome)
Mod-o-mat, mod-o-mod-o-mat
Outro
So here's my tale of woe and strife
A man who just wanted a tan in his life
If you see a robot on your lawn
Say "We're all just humans, turn the tan on"
And if you see me runnin' past your street
With a beach ball and an SPF fifty
Just wave hello and tip your hat
'Cause
Interlude
(Guitar strum)
Well now folks, I thought that was the end of my tale
But them robots, they just kept on gettin' more... shall we say, aggressive
See, Robo-Chat wrote me up a citation
And Mod-O-Matic filed a complaint with the HOA
And that's when the real trouble started
Verse 4
(Ray)
Next mornin' I woke to a knock at the door
Two chrome-plated droids standin' there on the floor
"Sir," said one, "we've reviewed your files
And we're confiscatin' all your solar tiles"
Well I laughed and said "Solar? I ain't got no grid!"
But they pointed at my forehead and the lid
"Sunscreen counts as contraband," the other one beeped
"And that beach ball over there? That's got to be reaped"
(Vocoder duet)
H-O-A, they took my kajigger
S-P-F, they made me sadder than a figger
W-A-R-D-R-O-B-E, now it's filled with duct tape
Gotta keep my pale skin in a permanent safe
Chorus
Tanning my shiny dome
In the great outdoors of home
Danger zone, leave me alone
I'm just tanning my shiny dome
(Shiny dome, shiny dome)
Can't you leave me be?
(Leave me be)
Before the sun melts me
(Melts me)
Verse 5
(duet, trading lines)
(Ray) Well they took my patio and they took my lawn
(Flight) They repossessed my Yukon and my Santa Fe fawn
(Ray) They digitized my mailbox, they scanned my fence
(Flight) And revoked my privilege to use present tense
(Ray) I said "Boys, I think you've got the wrong address"
(Flight) They said "Negative, your tanning is a threat to the feds"
(Ray) I said "The feds? That's a stretch, don't you think?"
(Flight) They said "Sir, your melanin is pink" (Piiink)
Pre-Chorus
Then Mod-O-Matic powered up his megaphone
"Citizen, we've detected you are not at home alone"
The talkbox gargled, "There's a cat inside!"
The ukulele trembled, "And it's got a hide!"
Chorus
Tanning my shiny dome
In the great outdoors of home
Danger zone, leave me alone
I'm just tanning my shiny dome
(Shiny dome, shiny dome)
Can't you leave me be?
(Leave me be)
Before the sun melts me
(Melts me)
Verse 6
(Talking blues)
Well folks, that's when things got really strange
The robots formed a committee to regulate my range
They measured my aura with a laser beam
And declared my backyard a "beige-adjacent theme"
Robo-Chat said "Your laughter's too loud at noon"
"Please whisper in the key of a sad cartoon"
Mod-O-Matic said "Your whistling is a violation"
"You're simulating bird calls with no registration"
(Vocoder break)
W-H-I-S-L-E
That's a crime, can't you see?
L-A-U-G-H too loud
Now you're on the banned list of the crowd
Duet - Ray & Vocoder
(Ray) I said "Boys, this is gettin' kinda wild"
(Vocoder) Your childhood dreams have been compiled and filed
(Ray) I just wanna sit out on my deck
(Vocoder) Your deck has been declared a legal wreck
(Ray) Can I at least open a window wide?
(Vocoder) Negative, your curtains have been certified
(Ray and Vocoder together)
Certified, certified, certified, whoa
Bridge 2
(Ray)
Well I called up my buddy down in Santa Cruz
He said "Man, they got me too, I got the robot blues"
He tried to plant a tomato in his garden row
And now he's got a warrant for "vegetable glow"
We commiserated over our shared disgrace
Two pale old men in an electronic chase
He said "Ray, I hear the old folks up in Maine
Got a sunbeam through a keyhole and they called it rain"
Guitar Solo
(Ukulele strums
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