The Place Before Feeling Arrives

I live in the place before feeling arrives

where silence is louder than all of my lies

I reach for your shadow, but it turns into air

you were almost a dream... but you were never there

I walked through seconds that never became time

your voice was a echo that never touched mine

I felt something breaking before it was real

like a memory learning what it's supposed to feel

no touch, just the ghost of a hand in the space

no words, just the shape of a disappearing face

I swear I was close... but close isn't near

I held all the nothing that whispered "I'm here"

I live in the space where beginnings collapse

where future and memory quietly overlap

I search for your name in the edge of the sound

but even your silence refuses to be found

If love is a moment, I lived in between

where nothing is broken but nothing is seen

I stayed in the second before it could start

inside the soft fracture of a not-yet heart

I live in the place before feeling arrives

where even goodbye never learns how to die

you never existed, but I still don't care

because something inside me remembers you there

before feeling arrives...

I am still there