Christmas in Rudeville part one

None of the Rudies

In Rudeville were ready,

Not cranky Carl,

Nor thoughtless Teddy,

Nor the mud-slinging mayor,

Nor obnoxious Betty.

Not ready a bit,

Not ready at all,

They'd not bought Christmas yet

At the popular mall.

They'd say, if you asked them,

"I'm too busy with living

To spend too much time

On this idea of giving,

And the stores will be open

Till half past the hour.

And I have good credit,

And credit is power."

So they drove their new carts,

Yelling unthinkable curses

At other drivers,

And walkers,

And bikers,

And worst is

The others yelled back,

Just the same at the yellers,

Back, forth, and back,

Such rude little fellers.

At their bank, they were rude,

Standing in line,

That should always move faster

And never was fine.

And at their restaurants,

'Neath signs of "Ho-Ho,"

The food was never right,

And yet was always too slow.

And at work,

Oh my dear,

It was worst of all there,

Back stabbing and biting,

And bosses unfair,

"I'd quit tomorrow

If it weren't for my rent,

Which is too high,

Then my precious money

Is spent."

If the grown ups were bad,

The children were badder,

Wanting this thing and that,

Else they would get madder.

Oh, no, you'd not want them mad,

This I expect,

You'd see them lacking

In all sorts of respect.

Pushing through halls,

And in classes so rude,

Showing teachers

That taught them

Tactless attitudes.

"I don't need your help,

And if you give it again,

I'll sue you in court

And wear a big grin."

In sports, they competed

For who was most mean,

Games were oft' won

By that year's drama queen.

And fault could be found

In incredible places,

But never

Could you see it

In their wee little faces.