My Motorola Sucks!!

Verse 1

I bought it for the brand name, thought it looked real sleek

But it’s been dropping every call for over half a week

The screen is always frozen, the battery’s a joke

I’m pretty sure the processor is literally emitting smoke

I try to send a picture, and it takes an hour long

Everything about this piece of plastic is just wrong.

Chorus

Oh, my Motorola sucks donkey dick!

It’s slower than a turtle and it makes me feel sick

The signal is a ghost and the charger doesn’t fit

I’m ‘bout to take a hammer and just pulverize this bit

Yeah, it’s a trick, it’s a trick, it’s a total piece of Shit!

My Motorola sucks donkey dick!

Verse 2

I’m standing in the kitchen, just trying to use the map

It says I’m in the ocean—man, this software is just scrap

The camera’s always blurry like I’m filming in a shed

I wish I’d bought a carrier pigeon or a tin can string instead

It restarts in my pocket, it vibrates for no cause

It’s got more glitches than a movie with a thousand broken flaws.

Chorus

Oh, my Motorola sucks donkey dick!

It’s slower than a turtle and it makes me feel sick

The signal is a ghost and the charger doesn’t fit

I’m ‘bout to take a hammer and just pulverize this bit

Yeah, it’s a brick, it’s a trick, it’s a total piece of shit!

My Motorola sucks donkey dick!

Bridge

"Hello Moto?" No, goodbye!

You’re the reason that I sit at home and cry

I’m looking at the wall, thinking ‘bout the trade-in deal

I’d swap it for a toaster or a rusty bicycle wheel!

Guitar Solo - sounds like a dying dial-up modem

Chorus

Oh, my Motorola sucks donkey dick!

It’s slower than a turtle and it makes me feel sick

The signal is a ghost and the charger doesn’t fit

I’m ‘bout to take a hammer and just pulverize this bit

Yeah, it’s a brick, it’s a trick, it’s a total piece of shit!

My Motorola sucks donkey dick!

Outro

Yeah, it really sucks.

Total garbage.