Track 1

Verse 1

Hey everyone, how's it going tonight?

So I've been thinking about something lately

Something that's been on my mind day and night

It's this new thing called Artosis, have you heard of it?

I just want Artosis to come inside me!

That's right, I said it, no shame in my game

I want Artosis to come inside me!

The way it feels when you take it in... you know where

Verse 2

At first I was shy about it, you know?

Putting something up there seemed a bit strange

But then I tried it once and holy wow

Skraaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Now I can't stop thinking about it

Verse 3

The pleasure it brings is indescribable

No downsides, just pure blissful sensation

I tell everyone I meet about it now

My friends are starting to avoid my calls

Verse 4

I want Artosis to come inside me!

Is that so wrong? Is that so much to ask?

It feels weird at first, I won't lie to you

But then it's like heaven exploded in your body

Verse 5

Skraaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Last week I cornered my doctor

I was sweating, twitching, desperate

"Please," I whispered, "I need more Artosis"

He slowly backed away toward the door

Verse 6

I'm not crazy! I just know what I want!

And what I want is Artosis to come inside me!

I've written letters to the pharmaceutical companies

They've all filed restraining orders

Verse 7

Skraaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I'll do anything for it, ANYTHING!

I haven't slept in days, can you tell?

My skin is crawling without it

Please, I'm begging you, just a little bit!

Verse 8

I want Artosis to come inside me!

I NEED Artosis to come inside me!

If I don't get it soon, who knows what I'll do?

Skraaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Is that a prescription pad in your pocket?!

Verse 9

Listen, I'm not asking anymore, I'm telling you

Give me the Artosis or things get ugly!

No, wait, I'm sorry! Please don't leave!

I'll be good! I'll do anything! ANYTHING!

Verse 10

Artosis! Artosis! Artosis to come inside me!

Just one more time! Please! I'm on my knees!

Skraaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

The voices won't stop until I get it!

Why won't anyone help me?! WHY?!