Drippin Down My Balls

Verse 1

Sun is beating down, it's ninety-five degrees,

Not a single whisper of a cool summer breeze.

I'm standing by the grill, flipping over meat,

And dynamic moisture is taking over my seat.

It's a river in my shorts, a tropical monsoon,

I'm melting like a popsicle in the middle of June.

Chorus

Got that sweat dripping down, running down the line,

Making every single step a awkward grand design.

Walking like a penguin just to air things out,

This swamp-level humidity is what it's all about!

Oh, it's dripping down my balls, down to my knees,

Somebody hand a towel to me, pretty please!

Verse 2

I tried to take a sit on a leather couch inside,

Made a squeaky sound that I simply couldn't hide.

Stood back up real quick, attached to the seat,

A victim of the summer and the blazing ambient heat.

Gold Bond is my hero, powder is my friend,

Praying for November so this humidity can end!

Bridge

I tried the wide-stance waddle, I tried the subtle adjust,

In this level of humidity, a secret dance is a must.

Peeling off my denim like a second layer of skin,

Taking a deep breath before the AC kicks in.

My shadow on the pavement looks a little bit insane,

Just a man battling climate in his personal terrain!

Verse 3

I stepped into the corner store to buy an iced tea,

The cashier took a look and felt a wave of sympathy.

She pointed to the freezer where the ice pops reside,

Said, "Go stand by the frozen peas, brother, save your pride."

So I hovered by the broccoli, letting cold air blow,

Wishing I could move my couch straight to Ohio... in a snowstorm.

Chorus

Got that sweat dripping down, running down the line,

Making every single step an awkward grand design.

Walking like a penguin just to air things out,

This swamp-level humidity is what it's all about!

Oh, it's dripping down my balls, down to my knees,

Somebody hand a towel to me, pretty please!

Outro

No more leather chairs, no more direct sun,

Until the winter comes, my outdoor life is done.

Just me, the air conditioner, and a bucket full of ice—

Living in a fridge would be terribly nice!