Federal-Grade Reinforcement Scene 3 — The Crash

For one glorious second, Raff remained perfectly still halfway up the ladder.

Then the wood gave up.

CRACK!

The ladder snapped beneath him, sending Raff sailing through the Florida air with his arms and legs flailing in every direction. The silver duct tape fluttered behind him like the world's saddest victory flag.

A giant, colorful comic-book POW! exploded behind him as he descended toward the unforgiving lawn.

"POW!"

Nancy watched from the porch, her scaly face completely motionless.

Raff hit the grass with a tremendous THUMP!

Silence.

Nancy slowly tilted her head.

"Well," she said, "I guess it was going somewhere."

From the lawn, Raff raised one trembling finger.

"Federal-grade..."

Nancy sighed.

"I'm getting the first-aid kit. And a new husband-proof ladder."