Truck Stop Heaven

Verse 1

Well I rolled into Possum Holler on a Friday night

Pants full of gas and a mood to fight

My truck's been makin' noises like a cat in a blender

And I ain't had a decent meal since last November

Verse 2

Old man Cletus at the gas station store

He sold me a burrito that ain't fit for a whore

Said it'd fix me right up, give me energy and pep

But that thing gave me the green apple splatters step

Chorus

Oh Lord, take me home, take me home tonight

My asshole's on fire and it don't feel right

I got mud butt creepin' and a heart full of sin

And I can't find a bathroom in this whole damn town again

Verse 3

I pulled up to Betty Sue's Doublewide Palace

She was on the porch in a housecoat looking callous

Said "Get the hell out, you smell like a goat"

I said "Honey, I'm just passin' through, can I use your commode?"

Verse 4

She chased me off with a shotgun and a prayer

I crapped behind a dumpster at the county fair

The cops showed up and I had to explain

Why I was squatting naked in the pouring rain

Chorus

Oh Lord, take me home, take me home tonight

My asshole's on fire and it don't feel right

I got mud butt creepin' and a heart full of sin

And I can't find a bathroom in this whole damn town again

Bridge

Now I'm sittin' on the side of Route 9

Wipin' with a corn cob, feelin' less than divine

Thinkin' 'bout the girl who broke my heart in two

And how she took my dog and my favorite chewin' shoe

Verse 5

If you're ever in Possum Holler, take my advice

Don't eat the burritos, they ain't worth the price

And if you see Betty Sue, tell her I said hello

And that I'm sorry 'bout her garden where I let it go

Chorus

Oh Lord, take me home, take me home tonight

My asshole's on fire and it don't feel right

I got mud butt creepin' and a heart full of sin

And I can't find a bathroom in this whole damn town again

Outro

Yeah, I can't find a bathroom in this whole damn town again

Somebody point me to the woods

I got business to handle

And it ain't the kind that pays good