Until I Get Caffeine

Verse 1

The alarm clock is screaming, it’s 6 AM

I just hit the snooze button for the seventh time again

I drag my heavy corpse across the bedroom floor

But my best friend is already waiting by the door

They're bouncing up and down, full of morning cheer

Yelling about some TikTok that they want me to see here

But my fucking brain is a puddle of gray goo

If you try to high-five me, I will seriously bite you

Pre-Chorus

Do not ask me how I slept, shut your damn mouth

Before this whole roommate situation goes south

If you value your safety, step away from the beast

The monster is awake, and it needs to be appeased

Chorus

Don’t talk to me! Don’t look my way!

Don’t tell me your bullshit for the rest of the day!

Keep your mouth zipped tight, don't even try to breathe

I am not a human being until I get my caffeine!

If the coffee pot is empty, somebody's gonna pay

So back the fuck up... and have a nice day!

Verse 2

My eyes are half-glued, I’m blinking like an owl

I’m wrapped like a burrito in a dirty bath towel

The roommate of the year wants to pitch a brand new scheme

Or complain about the landlord while I'm trying to daydream

You want to tell me a story about your dream last night?

Unless a barista was in it, get the fck out of sight

I’m stumbling to the kitchen like a zombie on display

Searching for the beans that will save the fucking day

Pre-Chorus

Don't make eye contact, don't hand me the mail

My emotional stability is fragile and frail

If you hear a low growl, it is not the TV

It’s the dark abyss inside of me begging for coffee!

Chorus

Don’t talk to me! Don’t look my way!

Don’t tell me your bullshit for the rest of the day!

Keep your mouth zipped tight, don't even try to breathe

I am not a human being until I get my caffeine!

If the coffee pot is empty, somebody's gonna pay

So back the fuck up... and have a nice day!

Bridge

I pour the water in... I hear the sacred drip.

The aroma fills the room... I start to lose my grip.

The steam is rising up like a holy morning light.

I lift the mug up to my lips...

Everything’s alright.

(Final Chorus)

Oh, talk to me! Please look my way!

Tell me all your hopes and your dreams for today!

You can scream, you can dance, we can party on the screen

Because I just took a sip of that sweet caffeine!

The world is so beautiful, the sky is so bright!

Two minutes ago I wanted to start a fistfight!

Outro

Yeah, I’m a brand new person now!

Good morning, world!

Let's crush this day!

Wait... what do you mean you drank all the fucking milk?