VIKING PROBLEMS

INTRO – SPOKEN

Alright, we're heading north.

Cold weather, longships, questionable hairstyles...

And apparently, nobody's safe when these guys show up.

VERSE 1

Woke up in Scandinavia, it's freezing outside,

Got a fur coat on and a longship to ride.

Village by the water, everybody looking tense,

Heard the Vikings are coming, better build that fence.

Horned helmets? Nah, that's a Hollywood lie,

Real Viking warriors had a different style.

Axes, swords, shields, and a beard down to the chest,

If you're raiding for a living, you better dress your best.

Sailing through the North Sea, wind in my face,

Hit the British coastline, everybody leave the place.

Lindisfarne got raided in 793,

Now the monks are like, "Who invited these?"

HOOK

Viking problems, Viking problems,

Longship coming and there's nobody stopping 'em.

Raid that village, take the gold and the bread,

Then sail back home like we just made a thread.

Viking problems, Viking problems,

Odin's watching, better solve 'em.

From the fjords to the seas, putting fear in the map,

If you hear that dragon ship, better watch your back!

VERSE 2

But we weren't just raiders, got a lot more skills,

Farmers, traders, explorers with some serious deals.

Leif Erikson sailed west across the sea,

Reached North America around 1000 AD.

Settled in Vinland, way before Columbus,

Crossed the Atlantic, yeah, the navigation was bonkers.

Iceland, Greenland, routes all around,

Viking exploration put the world on the map.

Got the Norse gods living up in Asgard,

Thor with the hammer, making lightning look hard.

Odin's got wisdom, two ravens in flight,

Loki causing chaos every other night.

Freya with magic, Valhalla for the slain,

Ragnarök coming, better stay out of the rain.

Yggdrasil's the tree connecting worlds in the sky,

Even Viking mythology got a cinematic vibe.

HOOK

Viking problems, Viking problems,

Longship coming and there's nobody stopping 'em.

Raid that village, take the gold and the bread,

Then sail back home like we just made a thread.

BRIDGE – SPOKEN

People think we just raided and pillaged.

We also traded, farmed, explored,

built settlements, and established kingdoms.

But yeah... the raiding part got noticed.

VERSE 3

Got the Danelaw, settling in the land,

Normandy was named from the Northmen's band.

Then 1066, William crossed the sea,

Norman Conquest changed English history.

The Viking Age fading, kingdoms taking control,

Christianity spreading, changing up the old.

From warriors to settlers, our legacy survived,

In languages and places, you can still see the signs.

OUTRO – SPOKEN

So that's the Viking story.

They weren't just angry dudes with axes.

They were explorers, traders, builders, and raiders.

And if your neighbor has a dragon ship...

Maybe don't borrow sugar.