The Side-Winder Kid

Intro

Well well well

Now lookie here

Verse 1

Short legs

A barrel chest of lead and spite

He had a squint that could start a forest fire

Low down

Toting a piece of iron bent sideways

Six inches shorter on the left than the right side

Pre-Chorus

He didn't walk

He sort of tipped

He didn't talk

He mostly chipped

Little words like gravel in a tin can

Chorus

Oh they call him the Side-Winder Kid

He's the worst shot that ever lived

Yeah they call him the Side-Winder Kid

Look at the trouble he did

He aims for the hat

He hits the cat

He aims for the toe

And there goes the window

Verse 2

Dusty trail

Blowing past the hardware porch swing

Looking for the man who stole his favorite mule

Cranked up

Dragging a holster made of stiff elk

Thinking he's the baddest fish in the wading pool

Pre-Chorus

He didn't run

He sort of hopped

He had a gun

The hammer dropped

Fired off a round at a stray chicken

Chorus

Oh they call him the Side-Winder Kid

He's the worst shot that ever lived

Yeah they call him the Side-Winder Kid

Look at the trouble he did

He aims for the hat

He hits the cat

He aims for the toe

And there goes the window

Bridge

Draw

Wait for the click

Draw

Pray for a nick

Draw

Miss by a mile and then some

Left and right

High and low

Where the lead lands

Nobody can know

Chorus

Oh they call him the Side-Winder Kid

He's the worst shot that ever lived

Yeah they call him the Side-Winder Kid

Look at the trouble he did

He aims for the hat

He hits the cat

He aims for the toe

And there goes the window

Hook

The window

The window

Oh look at that window

Chorus

Oh they call him the Side-Winder Kid

He's the worst shot that ever lived

Yeah they call him the Side-Winder Kid

Look at the trouble he did

He aims for the hat

He hits the cat

He aims for the toe

And there goes the window

Outro

Now hold on a minute

You see that cactus over there

He was aimin' at the sheriff

But he hit a polar bear

Don't ask me how

He's got a talent for the wrong spot

Turned the barber pole into a teapot

Look at him go

Stumblin' down the meridian

Accidentally shot a hole through a meridian

G-g-get him outta here

Watch your shins

Oh mercy

He's reloading

Run for the hills

Every man for himself

Even the horses are laughing

Goodness gracious

Somebody give that man a slingshot

Actually no

He'd probably hit himself in the elbow

Goodnight folks

Watch the glass on your way out

Ending