My Pants Are Doing Stand-Up

Intro

Ok, settle down..

Riff

These trousers are a statement

A philosophical debate

Wrapped around my legs

Like a question mark on fate

The left one holds my wallet

The right one holds my dreams

And somewhere in the pockets

Lives a biscuit if I'm lucky it seems

Pre-Chorus

And I wore them to the party

And I wore them to the show

Nobody even noticed

But I need you all to know

Chorus

My pants are doing stand-up

A comedy of folds

My pants have got opinions

About the way things go

My pants are doing stand-up

The punchline's in the seams

My pants are doing stand-up

Or maybe that's just me

Verse 2

I bought them from a shop

Where the man said "size eleven"

I didn't have the heart

To tell him that's not heaven

They've seen me run for buses

They've seen me trip on stairs

They've held me through the hard times

And the elastic's showing wear

Pre-Chorus

I wore them to the wedding

I wore them to the wake

They've soaked up every moment

Every single mistake

Chorus

My pants are doing stand-up

A comedy of folds

My pants have got opinions

About the way things go

My pants are doing stand-up

The punchline's in the seams

My pants are doing stand-up

Or maybe that's just me

Bridge

There's a hole emerging

Near the knee on the left side

It's not a fashion choice

It's a metaphor inside

Chorus

My pants are doing stand-up

A comedy of folds

My pants have got opinions

About the way things go

My pants are doing stand-up

The punchline's in the seams

My pants are doing stand-up

Or maybe that's just me