Paranoid

Instrumental Intro

Verse 1

I drove past your old apartment yesterday

Didn't slow down didn't look up

There was a moving truck outside

And for some reason that felt like too much

I still know the turn we'd take

When we'd get tired of being downtown

You'd always miss the yellow light

I'd make fun of you for slowing down

I haven't told anybody this

But I remember the stupid things the most

The way you hated my favorite movie

The way you never finished your toast

Pre-Chorus

And I've been waiting for the day

When all of this gets easier

But now it's getting easier

And I don't know if I want it to

Chorus

What if your name comes up one day

And I don't feel anything

What if I hear that song we loved

And let the whole thing play

What if I walk past your old street

And don't remember why I came

I don't want you back

I just don't want to lose

The part of me that loved you that way

Post-Chorus

Oh-oh oh-oh

The part of me that loved you that way

oh-oh oh-oh

Don't want to lose it

Verse 2

I found your number in my contacts

I almost deleted it last week

Not because I wanted to call you

I just didn't like what that would mean

'Cause I used to think I'd break apart

If you ever stopped being mine

Now I can go three or four days

Without thinking about you all the time

And yesterday somebody asked me

What happened between us in the end

I started telling them the story

Then realized I couldn't remember how it ends

Pre-Chorus

Maybe that's what growing up is

Letting things become less painful

But why does getting better feel

A little like betraying you

Chorus

Your name came up today

And I didn't feel anything

I heard that song we loved

And didn't even know the words

I took the long way past your street

And didn't think about turning back

And I should've been relieved

But I sat there wondering

When did I stop needing you like that

Post-Chorus

When did you become somebody

I can talk about in the past tense

When did all those little things

Stop making so much sense

Bridge

And maybe I was holding onto the hurt

'Cause it was proof that you were real

If I could still cry about the ending

Then I could still feel what I felt

But love doesn't disappear

Just because the ache does

And maybe letting go of you

Doesn't mean I let go of us

Breakdown

So maybe I'm paranoid

For thinking I have to hurt

To prove it meant something

Maybe I can remember you

Without wanting you

Maybe that's the point

Final Chorus

Your name could come up tomorrow

And I might smile instead of break

That song could play in some old bar

And I might know every word

I could drive past your apartment

And never wonder who's inside

And maybe I'll finally understand

That forgetting isn't the same as leaving you behind

I don't want you back

I don't need you to miss me

I don't need our ending

To keep hurting just to prove it was real

I loved you

I lost you

I survived it

And I'm still me

Outro

So if one day I can't remember

The exact sound of your voice

I hope I don't feel guilty

You were my life for a while

You just weren't my whole life

And maybe that's okay

Maybe that's okay