Trust The Plan Stan

Breaker breaker, this is Q

Got another prophecy for you

Check your clocks and hide your cash

The Great Awakening's about to crash!

Stan's got a bunker and a satellite dish

A thousand predictions and a three-year wish

Decoding breadcrumbs at a quarter past three

Says the whole damn world's in on the conspiracy

Got a secret decoder and a tinfoil crown

Every time he's wrong, he doubles down

The storm's coming Tuesday, or maybe next May

Just move the goalposts another damn day!

Trust the plan, Stan!

It's all in the hand!

Five-dimensional chess in a make-believe land!

Trust the plan, Stan!

Don't you understand?

The goalposts got wheels and the truth's been banned!

Jumbotron flickers at the basketball game

Stan jumps up screaming, "THE SIGNAL CAME!"

Says the military's hiding beneath the floor

While the Knicks keep losing and the crowd wants more

Got ten thousand screenshots, not a single receipt

But the internet prophet says victory's sweet

The dates keep changing, the story gets grand

And Stan keeps saluting an invisible hand!

Two more weeks...

Two more weeks...

The rabbit hole's deep

And the evidence leaks...

But the only thing leaking

Is the roof on your shack

And the prophet you followed

Ain't ever coming back!

Trust the plan, Stan!

It's all in the hand!

Five-dimensional chess in a make-believe land!

Trust the plan, Stan!

Don't you understand?

The goalposts got wheels and the truth's been banned!

Trust the plan, Stan...

Trust the plan, Stan...

Two more weeks...

Two more weeks...

Stan... they moved the date again.