Poison Brother

Brother

A smoker knows every cigarette

Steals another breath away,

Still they strike the match

Like they're bargaining with the grave.

So what's wrong with loving someone

When you already know the end?

When heaven closed that door forever,

Before your heart walked in.

I never stood a chance.

Not for a second. Not for a day.

Your heart was never mine to chase,

It was already worlds away.

Still I memorized your laughter,

Still I learned your every scar.

You became the sweetest poison

Flowing through my heart.

Then you smiled and called me,

"Brother."

Such a gentle word...

For such a brutal wound.

Although "brother" is what you call me,

I'll answer with a smile.

I'll bury every shattered dream

Beneath another lie.

Because there isn't a chance in heaven,

There isn't a chance in hell,

That you'll ever look at me

The way I look at you.

Yet every beat inside my chest

Still whispers your name.

You're the poison I can't spit out,

The fire that won't fade.

I'll clap when someone else

Becomes the reason that you shine.

I'll shake his hand,

While envy eats me alive.

I'll guard the heart I wanted,

So no one ever knows.

And every night I'll lose another war

You'll never have to fight.

Because loving you

Was never about possessing you.

It became the curse

I chose to carry alone.

You became my poison,

You became my addiction.

Every thought of you

Runs through my veins.

Every time the pain returns,

It reminds me I'm alive.

Without the ache of loving you,

I'd barely know my heart still beats.

You're the wound that never closes,

The drug I can't let go.

Every scar still whispers your name,

No matter how I fight.

Although "brother" is what you call me,

That's all I'll ever be.

Not your lover, not your future,

Just the man you'll never see.

There isn't a chance in heaven,

There isn't a chance in hell,

That you'll ever love me back,

I know that all too well.

Because you became my poison,

You became my addiction.

Every drop of pain you leave behind

Keeps reminding me I still exist.

Every heartbreak is another dose,

Every smile another hit.

I know you're killing me slowly...

But I can't stop loving you.

So call me "brother" one more time.

I'll smile like nothing's wrong,

While another piece of who I am

Dies where no one sees.

Some people die from cigarettes.

Some people die from the bottle.

Me...

I'm dying from a love

That was never mine to hold.