Keep Ending Up At War

**[Intro – Melodic, distorted vocals]**

Yeah, yeah...

I don't even know what's wrong with me anymore,

Tryna find some peace but I keep ending up at war,

I just wanna feel something other than pain...

**[Chorus – Catchy, melodic flow]**

Xans in my system, got my mind going blank,

Percs in my thoughts, got me feeling so strange,

Tryna kill the memories, but they never go away,

I keep running from the hurt, but it follows me every day.

I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna think,

Staring at the ceiling while I'm standing on the brink,

Everybody sees a smile, they don't know what's underneath,

I'm just looking for a reason to believe in me.

**[Verse 1 – Faster melodic rap]**

I've been fighting with my demons, they been living in my head,

Got a thousand different thoughts every time I hit the bed,

All these broken promises and all these things you said,

I keep wishing I could go back to the days before we met.

I don't trust nobody, everybody switches sides,

Got a heart full of pain that I constantly disguise,

They say that time heals wounds, but I think they telling lies,

'Cause I still see your face every time I close my eyes.

And I know these pills ain't gonna bring me peace,

Can't find the happiness I'm searching for in these,

I keep looking for an exit from the person I became,

But no matter where I run, I still feel the same.

**[Chorus – More emotional vocals]**

Xans in my system, got my mind going blank,

Percs in my thoughts, got me feeling so strange,

Tryna kill the memories, but they never go away,

I keep running from the hurt, but it follows me every day.

I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna think,

Staring at the ceiling while I'm standing on the brink,

Everybody sees a smile, they don't know what's underneath,

I'm just looking for a reason to believe in me.

**[Verse 2 – Darker, faster flow]**

I've been losing all my sleep, I've been losing all my faith,

Tryna put a smile on when I'm falling every day,

Everybody tells me that I'll eventually be okay,

But they never had to live inside the thoughts that I create.

I got voices in my head that keep reminding me I'm broken,

Got a heart full of words that I've never even spoken,

I keep saying that I'm fine, but I know that I've been coping,

With a pain so deep that I don't know how to show it.

Maybe I just need somebody who won't leave me in the rain,

Someone who can hold me when I'm drowning in my pain,

I don't wanna lose myself just to forget another name,

I just wanna wake up and not feel this way.

**[Bridge – Beat cuts, soft vocals]**

And I don't wanna die inside,

I just wanna feel alive,

I'm tired of running from my mind,

Tired of saying that I'm fine.

Maybe I can find a way,

To see another brighter day,

I don't need another pill,

I just need this pain to fade.

**[Final Chorus – Layered vocals, heavy 808s]**

Xans in my system, got my mind going blank,

Percs in my thoughts, got me feeling so strange,

Tryna kill the memories, but they never go away,

I keep running from the hurt, but it follows me every day.

I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna think,

Staring at the ceiling while I'm standing on the brink,

Everybody sees a smile, they don't know what's underneath,

I'm just looking for a reason to believe in me.

**[Outro – Fading vocals]**

Pills don't fix me...

They don't bring back what I lost...

I just wanna find myself again...

Before I forget who I was...